I hate my boss. She is always minimizing my work, my contributions, and my role on the team. I enjoy my job and really like the other people I work with. How do I know whether I need to ignore my boss and how she treats me, or to tell her I can’t take it anymore and quit?
Sometimes the people who we work for or with can be difficult to take. And, perhaps the only thing worse, is working with a boss who treats you with disrespect or takes credit for your work and/or accomplishments. If you are struggling with a complex work relationship and are thinking of telling your boss what you really think of them, check out these three questions to ask yourself before you tell your boss to take this job and shove it.
1. Are you responding to what was said or communicated in an email? When it comes to email, sometimes things simply get lost in translation. For example, a person who uses all CAPS to emphasize what the recipient will need, may come across as “shouting” and demanding. So before you act, take time to clarify “in real life” what you think was “said” in an email.
2. Did your boss take credit for your work? One of many lessons I learned from working in an agency was that my job is to do work that others will claim as their own. Whether it was drafting a byline article or watching my boss talk about my media placements as his own. A few years later, my VP at AT&T told me that my job was to make him look good – and thanked me for my many contributions. But he also told me that in turn his job was to make his boss (the SVP of PR) look good as well. Truth is, there are times when you will have to suck it up and let your boss present and/or take credit for what you have done – simply because that’s your job to do so. The key question to ask yourself is does your boss show YOU gratitude and appreciation for what you do.
3. Are you responding to something you heard from a third party: Years ago, a co-worker told me that another employee was going to take over two of my projects. My initial reaction was confusion and anger. Equally, I was embarrassed that this co-worker (who worked for me) knew this information before me. My knee-jerk response was to send my boss a strongly worded email saying that he had no right to give my projects to someone else.
Instead, I sent a brief and professional email asking for clarification about when we would begin and who would be working on the projects. The next morning, when I felt much calmer and cooler, I opened my inbox to see an email from my boss explaining that this person would be working on the projects as a resource/added help for me! Had I acted on emotion, I would have written something that could have damaged my relationship with my boss, not to mention something that I could not take back.
This week develop a plan to strategically deal with your co-worker’s/boss’ words and/or actions. Then determine how much you like and want to keep your job.
Truth is, your boss might not ever change. Equally, you should not change your expectations or forfeit your right to be treated in a professional and respectful way. You have to do what honors and respects yourself. Always remember that no matter how bad the situation, never burn a bridge with a person or organization.
However, if you like what you do and can learn to ignore or block out others’ actions, embrace a new, “big picture” perspective and focus on the many great things about this job and opportunity.