Alex Faille, Associate Buyer at West Elm at Williams-Sonoma, Inc., on surrounding yourself with focused, like minded peers; combining life and career by doing what you love; and working hard at whatever you do because there’s always someone waiting to take your place.
Growing up in the small coastal town of Beverly Farms, MA, Alex Faille knew his options and outlets to explore who he was, and who he wanted to be would be limited in his hometown.
He craved a more diverse urban environment than even nearby Boston could offer. Luckily when he was 12 years old, his father took him to New York City on a business trip, and found that place that he knew he wanted to be more than anywhere else in the world.
At the start of high school, Alex’s dad pushed him to figure out what he liked, and what he was going to do for college. In his junior year, he set his sights on becoming a buyer. Alex says it was never a “choice,” because going to New York City and becoming a buyer was something that he “had to do.”
His original plan was to go to a college in NYC to pursue advertising and marketing in large part because of his obsession with the movie,
What Women Want.
Then one day his Dad suggested F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology) because of Alex’s strong interest in fashion and clothing. He wasn’t yet “out of the closet” and was excited and surprised that fashion school was even an option in his parents’ eyes. So he jumped at it.
It may be a bit unusual that Alex decided on one specific career goal at an early age and never deviated from it. However the career ups and downs, he has and will continue to encounter are similar to those we all face. What’s set this 20-something success story apart is his laser focus on his single goal, and ability to never forget that having a chance to do the very thing he’s always dreamed of makes him blessed.
What was your first job, what did your first boss teach you, and why do you think you remember him or her?
I worked at a chocolate shop during high school. If I learned anything from that boss, it was to treat people with kindness and with respect, qualities that he did not demonstrate. My boss was a really unhappy guy, who treated me like his little kid who he happened to pay. I always felt like I had to obey him just because he paid me. It was really uncomfortable and made me feel horrible every day.
I think felt cheated by life in a way. He was an older guy who I don’t think ever ‘came out’ to his family; and he had a lover in Italy – a love that could never be. Perhaps he was a little envious of me, knowing I was going to go New York at some point and I would never have to live the life he chose for himself.
How do you mentally shake something off when things don’t go as planned?
One summer I got laid off. I asked my mother, who works as a head hunter, ‘What am I going to do?’ She said, 'What do you mean, what are you going to do? You’re going to go on unemployment and look for a job.’ This thought terrified me because I came from a homogenous small town. I had no concept of unemployment or who received it. I was young, a little naïve and fresh out of college. I lived in Harlem at the time, and I remember going to the unemployment office and waiting in line. It was the perfect 'kick in the butt’ I needed. I said to myself, ‘You do not want to have to do this again.’ On unemployment, you have to check in every so often so that they know you’re looking for a job – I hated that feeling.
Getting let go from [Henri] Bendel’s is what got me out of retail. I took it as a sign to move on to the next thing. I’m not the kind of person who likes being out of my comfort zone – I like process and routine. But I knew I needed a change.
During this hiatus I would work out all day, every day, because I needed a hobby that didn’t involve spending money. I soon found that my roommates and friends just looked at me as the guy who didn’t have a job or the need to be on a schedule. One morning, I remember running into the bathroom when Alison (my roommate) had to be at work. I jumped in ahead of her feeling proud that I actually had somewhere to be because I was going to meet a friend. She said, 'I need to get in the shower,’ and I said, 'Well I need to get in the shower too.’ She replied,
'Where
do you have to be? –
I
have a job and need to go to work!”
That blow to my ego was the last straw and made do something that day. I got out my phone and called and emailed all of my old professors and people I had worked with during my internships – everyone I could think of. In two hours I got information about a buyer’s opportunity at Macy’s.
In what ways did you have to step up to meet the opportunities you were given? And, what makes you move outside your comfort zone?
Often we want to do what our peers are striving for and doing. Luckily the friends around me were on focused career paths. The people you hang around should be pulling you up. The worst possible thing to do working in this city is to forget that having a job
here
is a blessing. I feel like there are too many people who feel like they’re 'owed.’ Those people don’t last long in this town. When you remember that you are blessed to work at what you love/want to pursue, you will work harder because you know there are lots of people waiting for your spot. Even though I like comfort, I have learned that the smoothest course isn’t always the best path.
How does your personal support system (of people, places and things) help you in making career choices?
I think living in New York is a good start. We have so many choices here in terms of career. I also have no plans to leave NYC. In some ways I’m probably limiting myself, but life isn’t just about career growth and new opportunities. The goal of life is to be happy, and NYC makes me happy. I think my second biggest influence is my mother. She owns her own High-Tech recruiting firm, so she finds people jobs for a living. Although having a mom who is a headhunter can be annoying at times [laughter], her words of wisdom guide me in the right direction whenever I’m conflicted about anything. She is the greatest example of how to strike the perfect balance between professionalism and a big personality.
When things don’t work out as planned are you the type to “get right back on the horse” or do you give yourself some time to “lick your wounds.”
95% of the time, I will “get right back on the horse.” I also think it’s okay to take a break, re-charge, and
then
dust yourself off. It’s inevitable to make mistakes the first time you do anything. The only shame is to make those mistakes, and to not learn from them the second time around.
Do you have any professional regrets? And what’s the lesson for others?
Although it feels like I have been in buying for a long time, I am at the beginning of my career. I’m only 27 and really haven’t had much time to have professional regrets.
However, I’m learning that the people I most respect are the ones who speak their minds and don’t play it safe. They take calculated risks, and treat everyone around them with respect.
How exactly do you create change and move away from something that you no longer want to do and take a next step in life or career?
This is one of my biggest challenges. When you want to make a change is when you most need to reach out and take what you want. NYC will give you nothing. You have to proactively work what you want. For me, it takes a great deal of time and deliberation to make big changes. As a Taurus, I like stability and routine. If I were to change jobs, careers, or even social circles, I would need an exceptional amount of time to make sure I was doing the right thing. To make the change, it would need to be beneficial on many levels, including financially. Mostly the change would need to make me happier, healthier, and provide room for growth. There is definitely some truth behind the saying, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t” – especially if that devil is wearing Prada. [Laughter] I find that when new opportunities arise or a change needs to be made, I know what the right thing to do is instinctually. It’s important to trust your instincts and things will usually work out.
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from someone’s quiet or unconventional wisdom?
The quiet wisdom I’ve learned has been from observing others, their mistakes and the way they solve problems based on those mistakes. My biggest lesson is to be yourself. It’s old and cliché because it’s true. I used to think I needed to be louder, talk more, and be more expressive for people to listen or think I was doing a good job. This was not who I am. Deep down I’m more reserved, and think things through quietly. It took a lot of observation of people I respect, and a lot of trial and error before I realized that I could be far more effective by focusing on quality over quantity. To be yourself, seems so trivial and obvious, but it’s really what will differentiate you from everyone else personally and professionally. Don’t try to fit in everywhere, don’t try to dress like everyone else, don’t try to talk like everyone else, and definitely don’t try to think like everyone else. Success is sure to come, and will be far easier with individuality.
About Alex Faille
Alex Faille is an Associate Buyer at West Elm at Williams-Sonoma, Inc. Like many of its 8 million inhabitants, he moved to NYC with a dream and goal. Alex credits his ability to thrive to having a career doing what he loves. Always holding onto the idea that “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life,” his “personal” and “professional” selves have become one and the same. He teaches us all that the most important question and realization we need when building a life and career, is to know what you LIKE to do
and
to do what you’re good at. Hopefully that something will be lucrative, if not at first, eventually. He reminds us that money doesn’t make us happy but money, after all, is important. Alex like other happy people has turned his hobby into a career. He has found part of his purpose by understanding that when you have a genuine interest in your work, you’ll be much better at it, and will always find success because you’re doing what you love. Alex has a Bachelor’s degree Fashion Merchandising Management from Fashion Institute of Technology/State University of New York. You can follow Alex on Instagram at @afaille