May 17, 2017 “Ask Patrice”

Dear Patrice, I recently worked on a project that had some problems and minor issues. How should I discuss this situation with my boss?

Here’s a three-step process to position yourself and your work in the best possible light moving forward:

1. You should proactively raise the issue FIRST and not wait for your boss to do so. Acknowledge the fact that things should have played out differently but stick to the facts. I have had people literally apologize for things I never knew had occurred, so chances are your supervisor may not know every detail. After the conversation, outline and/or draft a brief summary of the obvious “mistakes” and what you and others will do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

2. Now that you have told your boss what she or he needs to hear, you need to look for the root cause of the problem. Did things not work out according to plan because there was no organization, because things were left until the last minute, or because others dropped the ball? Or was it simply a matter of unclear expectations. For example, you CAN control how long others speak by both advising them well in advance that there is a 5-minute limit but, by also having a “moderator” and process in place to jump in - when they don’t. Your goal is to uncover the real reason things will be different. Remember, the best way to prove this is to not just TELL others what will happen but to SHOW them the next time around.

3. Your ability to bounce back from mistakes and all that life dishes out is all about attitude. Embrace a growth perspective where you seek to learn from everything that happens, especially those things that don’t end up well.

Mistakes happen despite our best laid out plans. This week think of these and other ways to communicate, grow from, and create success from mistakes and mishaps. Remember that life is what happens while we’re making (and hopefully learning from) other plans.

May 3, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Being Stressed and Knowing Something’s Gotta Give.

We’ve all been there - stressed and stretched in every direction and daunted by the thought of adding one more thing to our already overflowing plate. Although you may not be sure exactly what needs to be done differently (or how to do it) – you are certain that something has got to change. Here are seven things to help you beat stress by shifting your perspective and time to support the priorities that really matter.

1. Develop a calming start to each day: Before your morning workout, take 10 minutes to sit in silence, meditate or read something inspirational.

If you start your day stressed, rushed, and filled with anxiety, the rest of your day will most likely be the same. So why not start things on an upbeat note to increase the likelihood that your day will be both productive and positive.

2. Delegate life and work to-dos: Whether it’s telling your roommate, spouse or partner to clean the apt (for a change) or asking the intern to help with something you’d normally do, ask or require others to step up and take on added responsibility.

3. Replace boring with interesting: It’s hard to feel stressed out when you are intrigued by something compelling to read, think about, and discuss with others. Taking a few minutes each week to participate in an engaging activity will reduce feelings of monotony and give you more mental and physical energy to accomplish your responsibilities and goals.

4. Face your weaknesses straight on: Create a plan to address and overcome things that are not your strong suit. Specifically, focus on one thing (we all have one) that always takes you off track or causes you to lose focus. Simply having a plan of action to help you stay motivated, when you might otherwise stray off course, can help reduce procrastination, writers block or “paralysis by analysis” and thereby make you much more productive.

5. Find hope: When you feel overwhelmed you are less likely to see the good in anything. Simply finding one thing everyday to be optimistic about can not only change your outlook but actually make the things you do seem even better. Never forget that optimism is a major key to success in life, career, and almost any endeavor.

6. Get out of town: Taking a short train or bus ride to new surroundings can give you a much needed boost to re-charge and re-boot your batteries and energy. A change of scenery doesn’t have to cost a lot of time or money but can do wonders when it comes to relieving stress and gaining clarity about what really matters and how to better prioritize the time you do have.

7. Create a financial action plan: Money problems are one of the leading causes of stress and they often take time to get resolved. However, taking one or two steps towards turning a positive financial page can make you feel less stressed and more in control. Start by re-reading last week’s Living on Purpose Project post on reducing your expenses and commit to putting just one thing into practice.

Sometimes we need to de-stress and discover new energy to do the things we both want and have to do. Life will never be stress-free, but the more you can embrace healthy ways to eliminate feelings of boredom, anxiety, and uncertainty, the better you will feel. And, the better you feel the more you’re likely to put yourself out there, embrace new challenges and uncover new opportunities.

Ask Patrice – How can I improve my finances to make a career move, when I don’t make lots of money?

Now that Tax Day has come and gone you may be more focused on your finances. Enhancing your financial picture is difficult but possible if you simply change your approach to “saving.” Aside from taking on a side hustle or new job with a better salary, the best way to put more money in your pocket is not to make more but rather to reduce your expenses. Here are seven easy things that you can do to instantly shave hundreds off your monthly bills.

1. Select a more cost effective phone and Internet service provider: Years ago when I worked at AT&T I learned that customer service reps are required to tell you about ways to reduce your bill – but only if you ask. It’s still something that very few people take advantage of. Call your service provider and ask, “what is the best (i.e., most cost effective) plan based on my calling and data usage habits?”

2. Request a lower interest rate on credit card debt: Again, this is something that can be done – IF you ask. This courtesy can be extended to anyone, not only the “best customers” with perfect credit. Call your credit card company and explain that you saw another credit card with a much lower interest rate and are thinking of transferring your current balance to another company. Many financial institutions will offer you a lower rate on the spot. If they don’t, ask to speak to a supervisor in the “loyalty” department. Remember, saving even 2% off your current interest rate can translate into more than a hundred dollars over the course of the year.

3. Tap into employee or association discounts: Did you know that working for local, state, or federal government agencies (including College’s and Universities) or select private sector companies qualifies you for government and reduced rates at hotels? These rates are sometimes as much as 25% cheaper than what you can find online. You also may be eligible to receive discounted prices at stores, restaurants or transportation providers like Amtrak for being a member/alumni of a college/university, professional association, or organizations like AAA. Before booking that summer vacation, research your eligibility for discounts offers and rates.

4. Return or sell new and unused items for cash or store credit: Take those unused clothes with the tags still on back to the store. Many companies will offer you a store credit for things you don’t want or can’t use. Look into stores that will buy your items outfight or on a consignment basis (i.e., they keep 60% and you get 40% of whatever sells). Use the newly found money/credit for something you really need.

5. Swap cable for a streaming service: If you are still paying for cable tv - STOP! Changing to a service such as Sling, Hulu or Netflix can quickly save you money.

6. Change your withholdings on your W-2 income: Increasing the number of withholdings on your W-2 income can mean less of a tax return at the end of the year but more money in your pocket each month. Even if you are single with 0 dependents, you can claim multiple withholdings. Check with your HR department for more information.

7. Reduce your personal expenses: We’ve all heard of the “latte” factor – being able to save hundreds of dollars a year by cutting out daily and weekly trips to Starbucks and other expensive coffee shops. Similarly, you can cut back on entertaining – a primary contributor of long-term financial problems. Make it cool and fun to be thrifty by going “all you can eat”or bringing your lunch and eating with co-workers who are doing the same. On the weekends, invite friends over instead of the expensive night out. Do whatever you can to minimize what you spend. Encourage your friends and family to do take the savings challenge with you and together find and share creative ways to cut costs.

Financing a career change at any age or stage is doable with a little creativity and effort. Even if you are living paycheck to paycheck, everyone can make little changes to create big savings. This week stop your financial grind and start working smarter not harder when it comes to “saving” by reducing your expenses.

April 19, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to – Where is Your Confidence?

Confidence is like a sense of humor, everyone thinks that they have it but less than 20% of people actually do. In fact, confidence is an essential ingredient for success in life and career.

The only way to know for sure if you have confidence is to test it. So here are seven questions to help you determine where your confidence really lies, as well as simple but crucial things you can do to boost your belief in yourself and what you can accomplish.

1. What professional accomplishment are you most proud of? 

Your ability to simply have an answer to this question is key to measuring your true confidence. If your accomplishment happened more than 5 years ago, you may be badly in need of a shot of confidence. Confident people can site accomplishments from last week, last month or last year. Stretch yourself to identify recent successes. They are critical to help you reinforce your potential of having other successes in the future.

2. What is the first thing that you can do to create positive change in your life and career?  

Did you say, “change myself or the way that I think?” If not, you should have. Confidence is intertwined with self-awareness and living in the present, not with arrogance and blaming of others. If you’re stuck on what you didn’t get as a child or all the things other people have done to you/your life and not on yourself – not only is your confidence lacking - your approach to advancing in life is all wrong. Today embrace this – focusing on what you don’t have or cannot do interferes with what you can. 

 
3. Do you think you can do anything you set your mind to?  

Whether you are right or wrong – simply thinking that you have the talent and skills to achieve your goals is 80% of doing so. Chances are you will not accomplish everything exactly as you imaged it but taking 10 minutes a day to visualize yourself achieving a goal will increase the potential for success. Learn how to “see” every goal having a positive outcome. It WILL help you believe it is possible.  


4. What is the last big risk you took and how did it work out?  

If your immediate reaction to this question is thinking whatever you tried was a huge failure, you need to embrace a new definition of failure and what it really means. Success in one endeavor often happens after “failure” in another. Failure is a necessary part of trying anything new. Just because something did not work out exactly as you planned – means just that – it didn’t work as planned. It does not mean that it or you are a failure. Things not working out teaches you how to make adjustments but is not a reflection of your talents, abilities and potential. Your ability to see opportunity regardless of outcome is critical to success. Boost this part of your confidence by practicing how to not take “no” personally.  

 
5. What is the biggest thing standing between you and your desired goals?  

Hopefully your answer is “time” or “money.” However, if your response was “waiting for the right opportunity to come along” - think again. Confident people create (not wait) for opportunities. If your confidence is at a 10 - you know that the only thing standing in between your dreams and goals – is you! Remind yourself daily that you are the only one who can connect yourself with the right people and situations to make your dreams a reality..  


6. What do you say to yourself to stay inspired and motivated?  

You should be able to site at least five things that have nothing to do with other people. Confident people are usually motivated by prior success and possibility. They also feel that they deserve (and therefore expect) greatness. Ask yourself this – if you can only motivate others but cannot do the same for yourself is that just a way of sidestepping the reality that you are lacking some much needed personal confidence?   

 
7. What is your biggest regret?  


 Idealy you live life believing that everything happens for a reason. Mistakes, setbacks and failed projects/relationships are not things to regret but rather things to learn from and make you a better person. Life is about taking chances and putting it all on the line – that way you know you have done all that you can do and there is nothing to regret. Embrace risks and seek to learn from every life and career experience – and remind yourself that nothing should be regretted.  



Honesty is the best policy when it comes to dealing with your strengths and weaknesses, and your confidence. This week take an honest and hard look at what you really believe you can do and achieve. It’s easy to say you have confidence but far more revealing to ask yourself these critical questions and take a hard look at the honest answers.  

April 12, 2017 Seven Things To Think About How Helping Others in Their Career Can Help You In Yours

People hire people they know and like. In fact, most people get hired because of a referral of a friend, family member or former colleague. Therefore, being nice and acknowledging others for their achievements is a great way to forge friendly work relationships. In time, these colleagues and contacts will proactively recommend you for future positions and opportunities. Here are seven ways to become the king or queen of niceness. Seven simple things that can expand your network and create a wider pool of potential opportunities.

1. Be the Change: Show people what you believe life’s important things to be – don’t just tell them. If teamwork, supporting others, and a positive work environment are a high priority then show don’t tell.

2. Encourage Everyone: Everyone loves a pat on the back and to hear that they are doing a good job. Find ways to extend your heart and hand to those who need them.

3. Honor with Humility: Admit your mistakes and say the magic words: “I was wrong.” These words leave a better impact than “I’m Sorry.” Also when you are right be humble and don’t flaunt your “wins” and “successes.”

4. Thoughtfulness: Promise to think before you speak. Even when asked, give very little advice and let others take the lead and explain their plan and how to implement it.

5. Appreciation: Find daily ways to express appreciation and gratitude for everything people do to get the job done.

6. Patience: Let others know that everyone makes mistakes and deserves time to start over and do things again. Treat others with the same level of patience you’d hope someone would give to you.

7. Tolerance: Remove assumptions and see people for who they are and not what you expect them to be. Don’t just accept others. Instead make proactive strides to embrace them and make them feel part of the team.

It’s time to bring niceness back! Think about it. You are far more likely to advance your career with kindness than by treating others poorly. This week brush up on your niceness and soon you’ll find that it is an effective professional tool to create change.

April 5, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to Figuring Out Whether Your Are Stuck or If You’re in a Professional Holding Pattern.

The Living on Purpose Project recently celebrated our 2nd anniversary on April 1, 2017. It was a great opportunity to celebrate where we have been and to get excited by what lies ahead. However, sometimes you reach a milestone yet don’t feel like you have anything to celebrate because you feel stuck.

The next time you are feeling like you are in a rut or in a place you don’t want to be – consider that you are in a professional holding pattern. Here are seven common career holding patterns and how to adopt a new perspective when facing them.

1. I hate my job:

Most people experience this feeling a few times throughout their lives, often early on and in the middle of their careers.

Turn your frustration into motivation by making a list of everything this crappy experience is teaching you about what not to do and what type of job you want to be sure to avoid moving forward.

2. I don’t know what I really want to do:

Start by reading the Living on Purpose Project interviews and posts (arranged by topic in our Archives). Then begin doing whatever you are interested in. Think you’d like a job as a social media specialist? Help a friend develop social media pages and posts for their small or new business. Sometimes you can improve your job satisfaction by simply doing more of what you love outside of the office.

3. I can’t make a lateral move into another dept or area:

Unfortunately, you may have to leave your current organization in order to be considered for a bigger and brighter opportunity. Companies of all sizes generally focus their time and energy on senior executives – making opportunities for everyone else non-existent.

4. I am in business for myself but can’t find any new clients or customers:

Schedule time to socialize. Social events are a great place to network professionally. Mix things up and hang with a new crowd of like-minded people. Doing so might be just the thing to clear you for takeoff into something new and put an end to your holding pattern.

5. I can’t find another job:

In today’s competitive landscape, you need to consider jobs that you are overqualified for and underpaid to do - at least initially. In time you can leverage that experience to find a bigger and brighter one. In the meantime, take time to review your resume and see if there are things that may actually be hindering you from getting hired. Does your resume demonstrate you are an industry “outsider” because of the lingo you use? Changing a few key words and adding more industry-related experience could help you stand out from the competition.

6. I want to launch my own business or take it to the next level but don’t have the money:

Start with a strong plan and a dynamic web site that highlights your work and experience, and helps you cast a wide net to find potential clients. However, the best way to raise the needed capital is to create a side-hustle while working for someone else.

7. I have tried many things to put myself out there but nothing seems to be working:

Be creative and persistent, and you may simply have to give it time. Many holding patterns are necessary – while the next great job or opportunity is waiting to present itself. Maximize your time waiting by staying focused on what you have learned that can be applied to your next move/opportunity.

Anniversaries and milestones are often fun but can sometimes be depressing and make us feel that we are not where we want/think we should be. This week consider that you may be exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Instead of feeling stuck or in a rut, think of it as a necessary holding pattern to prevent you from taking another job or opportunity that is not right for you. Keep positive, perfect your skills and your craft, and learn from your interactions with everyone you meet. Sooner than you think, that next opportunity you’ve been waiting for will present itself.

March 27, 2017 Living on Purpose Project Question of the Week: Where do nice guys and gals really finish?

We’ve been told that nice people finish last, but is that really true? Here are seven things to make sure you are attracting good business karma. Each will help you prove that being kind and nice not only makes you a good human being but also gives you a huge leg up in your career and life.

1. Express gratitude: Give credit when it is due. In fact, give credit, even when it isn’t. People need to be acknowledged and doing so will make you look good, and them feel great about themselves. Praising others for their contributions is step #1 in becoming a great supervisor and leader.

2. Make time to be kind and thoughtful: Give a compliment. It might give someone a badly needed lift. As adults, we spend most of our time there. So why use some of those minutes to boost a co-worker’s spirits. Making your co-workers feel more positive about themselves will make them feel the same way when they are not at work.

3. Be optimistic: The can do-spirit is the fuel that makes things go. Nobody wants to work with or be a Debbie or Daryl Downer! Be the team member who gives the needed pep talk, offers fresh ideas, and encourages others no matter what.

4. Ha Ha: We don’t work in a bubble, but rather with real people dealing with real life. Aging and sick parents, money problems, strained relationships and much, much more. Share a funny story with someone who is dealing with something difficult. A good laugh can be great medicine and a great way to forge a genuine bond and friendship.

5. Watch your mouth: Resolve to stop shooting from the lip. Words can hurt more than any physical weapon. And, never forget that the words you have to eat can be very hard to digest. Choose your words wisely and always show others respect, especially when you disagree.

6. Apologize when you realize you are wrong: Remember, apologies never diminish who you are – they elevate it. Show others by example that you can admit your mistakes and be better because of them.

7. Encourage a beginner to try something new and take a risk: Nothing ventured nothing gained is not just a saying but a “major key” and fact of life. Someone once encouraged you, so pay it forward by helping someone looking to break into your industry. Regardless of level, you can and should always work as a connector who helps others network and partner to achieve common goals.

Even if nice guys and gals do “finish” last it’s far better to follow the golden rule – do to others, as you would have them do to you. “Nice” is not and will never be a four-letter word. Today pick one of these ‘acts of niceness’ and be that person who makes someone else’s week!

March 15, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Common Communication Mistakes 80% of People Make.

It has been said that 80% of conflict is a communications issue. I recently had a minor conflict with a neighbor that was caused from her literal and figurative inability to hear and understand what I was saying. This morning I thought that when it comes to life in general most things that disconnect people have to do with what and how things are said. It may sound silly but we all need to brush up on key types of communications. Check out these seven questions to see how you score on professional communications.

1. How do you ask for a raise or promotion? The biggest mistake people make in not getting a raise or promotion is lacking confidence and being “mousey.” Would you want to give more money to someone who can’t look you in the eye, use a firm and clear voice and command your attention and respect? No, you wouldn’t - so why should your current boss or potential future employer.

2. How do you introduce yourself? Do you have a memorable way of meeting people? If not, you should. Tell others that you mean business with your initial conversation and your first impression. You’ll get brownie points for making social connections i.e., asking questions or using body language such as nodding your head and smiling. I introduce myself as a master problem solver.

3. How do you present information and yourself? Whether it’s an interview or a PowerPoint presentation, the best way to “communicate” your knowledge and ability is to be prepared, knowledgeable, and on time. Always communicate the W.I.F.M. factor (What’s in it for me?) and K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple for Stupid). This is certainly not insulting anyone nor their intelligence but rather a great idiom to remind you to be clear and concise.

4. How do you deliver an apology or explanation? Chances are whatever bad news you have to deliver – it’s best to go with a sincere ‘less is more’ approach. I have seen many people talk themselves out of an apology by focusing on themselves and not the other party. If you say or do something that you wish you hadn’t – speak on and move on.
But before you do, remember that people want to be heard, so shut up and listen. Equally, learn how to find a positive spin in any negative. It softens the blow and makes people associate you with something good.

5. How do you ask others to do things? It’s not what you say by truly how you say things. Period. Tone, volume, and frequency affects others. Follow a good rule of thumb – listen twice as much as you speak.

6. How do you relate to co-workers on a personal level? Your goal is not to be the party-girl or after hours guy, but it is good to connect with select colleagues who share common interests. Find ways to strike up neutral topics such as hobbies, work background, and pop culture (minus the politics).

7. How do you express thanks and appreciation to others? Everyone achieves because of the help of others. Find ways to say more than a generic thanks to those who help you in big and small ways.
>Communicate in clear and concise ways. This week practice new ways to ask for things and express what you experience. In time, you will be a seasoned pro at minimizing a lack of communication or misunderstanding.

March 8, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to … Questions that Can Actually Help You Learn from and Build Upon Professional Experiences.

We all have the ability to learn and grow from all of our life experiences. With time and practice, we can become skilled at applying what we have learned to help us better navigate both our personal and professional lives. Here are seven simple yet effective questions to help you build upon your experiences, understand which things NOT to do or pursue and discover ways to do what you love.

1. What was your worst job?

Sometimes knowing what you DON’T like is more valuable than knowing what you think you do like - because it tells you what type of people to avoid and what roles to never pursue again.

When I was 16 I worked at a small ladies boutique in Center City, Philadelphia. They paid minimum wage plus 3% commission. I was offered the job after serving as a host/model for Philadelphia magazine’s “Best of Philly” events and parties on behalf of the store.

One Saturday I came into work expecting to find my $300 commission check but instead was greeted by a 3 x 5 index card that said: “Effective immediately sales associates will no longer receive commissions.” As I read that sign, I thought I could have a confrontational argument with the owners OR take those leather pants I had been eyeing for months, lock up the store and bounce. I did the latter and never looked back. The owners showed me who they were by breaking their promise and not keeping their word and I never gave them a chance to do the same thing to me again.

2. What was your favorite job?

Focus on the specific aspects of the job that you loved i.e., did you like the fact that you worked non-traditional hours, with creative people, or attended a lot of industry events.

I loved my years working with NIKE and the Jordan Brand, especially working with so many passionate business people, athletes and celebrities. I also loved my first job at AT&T and working overseas because of the autonomy and responsibility it offered. Since holding these positions, I have continued to seek out other opportunities that offer the same chances to do and work with the things I love.

3. What is the craziest thing that you’ve heard someone say during your career?

You can learn a lot from others mistakes if you pay careful attention to what people say in a group setting and how the decision makers respond or react.

When I worked as a freelancer, I attended a production meeting hosted by the prospective client. At the end of the meeting, the client opened the floor to questions. One young publicist asked, “what would I have to do to get fired? and what things will we not be able to get away with?”

Her question to the prospective client basically asked, “what is the least amount of effort I can give and still get paid.” Work ethics, integrity, and professional abilities aren’t just words but rather guides to help you present yourself and interact with others in a positive way.

Twenty years later I still shake my head every time I see someone verbalize and seek to strive for low expectations and doing the bare minimum.

4. What was some of the best advice that you’ve received throughout your career?

We have all been given great words of wisdom in our relationships, work and even our careers. However, do you know how to take advice from one aspect of your life and apply it to another life experience?

I once asked a prospective client what type of budget he had to work with. He replied, I want to pay you what YOU think you are worth. It taught me that people who feel valued will always give you 110% when/if needed, while those who feel that they are underpaid and over-worked will never go the extra mile with or for you. And, if they do – they will most likely resent you.

5. What are some of your professional accomplishments that make you feel proud?

We tend to be most proud of things that help/benefit others, create experiences, and do what others have not been able to achieve.

Executive producing and planning special events always makes me feel proud. It’s like conducting an orchestra with many moving people and parts. I’ve done hundreds of events, however, two events that will always stand out are - the Brand Jordan NBA All Star Party in Philly and securing the NYSE opening bell ceremony for iconic soul food restaurant Sylvia’s.

6. What is a professional risk you took that changed your life?

Career success is often a high-risk, high-reward world. Risks are tiny tests of our stamina, persistence and endurance. Practice taking small career-related risks every day so you’ll be prepared when opportunity presents itself.

Living and working outside of the country was something I did not embrace immediately. In fact, I passed up an international assignment in Asia before I accepted one working in Europe, The Middle East, and Africa.
When you live in another country where you don’t know a soul – you quickly learn how to become highly resourceful and independent, not to mention comfortable with yourself and doing things alone. Embrace chances to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember, no risk – no reward.

7. Who was your worst boss?

People who fail us are often our best life teachers.

I am lucky to say that I have only had ONE bad supervisor/boss. She would take credit for my efforts, not include me in key meetings, and gossiped about me and everyone in the department like a 12-year old girl. But what really made her a horrible boss was her lack of professionalism. Sure we don’t have to like everyone, but we have to always demonstrate respect and professionalism to those we work for and also those who work for us.

This week take a few minutes a day to ask yourself one question. Examine how the answer can help you move toward doing what you love.