March 15, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Common Communication Mistakes 80% of People Make.

It has been said that 80% of conflict is a communications issue. I recently had a minor conflict with a neighbor that was caused from her literal and figurative inability to hear and understand what I was saying. This morning I thought that when it comes to life in general most things that disconnect people have to do with what and how things are said. It may sound silly but we all need to brush up on key types of communications. Check out these seven questions to see how you score on professional communications.

1. How do you ask for a raise or promotion? The biggest mistake people make in not getting a raise or promotion is lacking confidence and being “mousey.” Would you want to give more money to someone who can’t look you in the eye, use a firm and clear voice and command your attention and respect? No, you wouldn’t - so why should your current boss or potential future employer.

2. How do you introduce yourself? Do you have a memorable way of meeting people? If not, you should. Tell others that you mean business with your initial conversation and your first impression. You’ll get brownie points for making social connections i.e., asking questions or using body language such as nodding your head and smiling. I introduce myself as a master problem solver.

3. How do you present information and yourself? Whether it’s an interview or a PowerPoint presentation, the best way to “communicate” your knowledge and ability is to be prepared, knowledgeable, and on time. Always communicate the W.I.F.M. factor (What’s in it for me?) and K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple for Stupid). This is certainly not insulting anyone nor their intelligence but rather a great idiom to remind you to be clear and concise.

4. How do you deliver an apology or explanation? Chances are whatever bad news you have to deliver – it’s best to go with a sincere ‘less is more’ approach. I have seen many people talk themselves out of an apology by focusing on themselves and not the other party. If you say or do something that you wish you hadn’t – speak on and move on.
But before you do, remember that people want to be heard, so shut up and listen. Equally, learn how to find a positive spin in any negative. It softens the blow and makes people associate you with something good.

5. How do you ask others to do things? It’s not what you say by truly how you say things. Period. Tone, volume, and frequency affects others. Follow a good rule of thumb – listen twice as much as you speak.

6. How do you relate to co-workers on a personal level? Your goal is not to be the party-girl or after hours guy, but it is good to connect with select colleagues who share common interests. Find ways to strike up neutral topics such as hobbies, work background, and pop culture (minus the politics).

7. How do you express thanks and appreciation to others? Everyone achieves because of the help of others. Find ways to say more than a generic thanks to those who help you in big and small ways.
>Communicate in clear and concise ways. This week practice new ways to ask for things and express what you experience. In time, you will be a seasoned pro at minimizing a lack of communication or misunderstanding.

November 9, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things That Suck but That We Can’t Change (At the Moment)

Sometimes despite our best efforts things simply don’t work out, or happen or move as fast as we’d like. We all have to deal with difficult career-related things of which we have no control. Here are some suggestions to deal with some common challenges.

1. Getting passed over for a promotion: It doesn’t matter whether you’re a CEO or an entry-level worker, having to continue working for the same company after being turned down for a promotion doesn’t make anyone feel good. It sucks! However, don’t let this situation define you. If you believe you were qualified for the position, use this opportunity to “read the writing on the wall” and see why the decision makers may not be in your corner. Let this be the much needed motivation to dust off your resume and get moving on finding another job.

2. Needing to forego your dreams to deal with a personal or family situation: We all have responsibilities to other people. At times we need to put our dreams on hold to help those closest to us. If you are in a holding pattern, remind yourself that all dreams deferred don’t “dry up like a raisin in the sun” and die. Some can actually gain momentum and even gain greater intensity after time has passed. Use your waiting time to refocus on your own dreams and your career goals. Sometimes no, isn’t no forever, just “no” for right now.

3. You’re in over your head at work: Many times you may need to “act as if” in order to get a job or be considered for an opportunity. However, once you’ve gotten it, you may soon find that you aren’t able to do key aspects of the job or handle the pressure of the environment. Ask someone, preferably outside the organization, for help. I have helped many people navigate the first few months of a new job by ‘ghost-writing” key reports and presentations on their behalf. If you can’t find people or resources to provide you the needed support, consider creating a Plan B or, if needed, to bow out gracefully. Ideally, you should be the first to say that things aren’t working perfectly and to propose a “back up” plan. Identify someone (internally or externally) to assist you with the project or your job overall. Keep in mind that doing this runs the risk of losing your job. However, it’s far better to admit that you are unable to do something (well in advance of a deadline) or a few weeks or months in, than to drag out the inevitable and possibly destroy a professional bridge and your reputation in the process.

4. You can’t get out of a work rut: You try to pursue different positions at your current job or even work on new projects, but you simply can’t get out of your career rut. Find a way to break away and recharge your batteries. Visit a friend or family member in another city, take a “mental health day” off from work or, simply do little and low cost things to change your routine like get a Mani/Pedi or buy/download a new book. The best way to break a rut is to change the way you think, which in turn will affect your actions and the reactions they create.

5. Dealing with being unemployed: Do your best to keep yourself busy and your thoughts positive. As long as you are doing something every single day to change your employment status, be patient and creative with your time – things will happen. You might not be able to control when the job offers come but you certainly can take hold of how you creatively manage your time. Create a blog sharing your ups and downs of unemployment or showcasing your interest or hobby. Remember, in order to have something that you’ve never had, you often have to do things that you’ve never done.

6. They are planning to outsource or phase out your position: If you are currently working in an industry or department that you know in time will soon be downsized or eliminated entirely, start creating a plan for the future today. You may not be able to stop the axe from chopping your job but you should and can start exploring new opportunities for when, and not if, that occurs. I know many people who work in journalism and publishing who have successfully evolved and grown along with the industry – enabling them to not only stay employed but remain in demand.

7. You are still waiting for the temporary (or part-time) job that you were told would become permanent: Many opportunities start as short-term or temporary assignments but in time can become full-time jobs. If you are currently in this situation, and even if the date that you should have gotten your permanent title has long passed, keep giving 110%. You don’t want to lose steam and have someone make the decision to not to hire you when you lost your passion because things were taking longer than you would have liked.

Just because things have not happened, doesn’t mean they never will. The key is to have and exhibit the 3 Ps – patience, persistence and perseverance. Life and career are not always perfect and at times we all have phases or positions that are really tough – so hold on. This week remind yourself that you might not be able to change things today, but you can change your perspective and put things in place to be prepared when change happens.