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March 15, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to  . . . Common Communication Mistakes 80% of People Make.


It has been said that 80% of conflict is a communications issue. I recently had a minor conflict with a neighbor that was caused from her literal and figurative inability to hear and understand what I was saying. This morning I thought that when it comes to life in general most things that disconnect people have to do with what and how things are said. It may sound silly but we all need to brush up on key types of communications. Check out these seven questions to see how you score on professional communications.


1. How do you ask for a raise or promotion?
The biggest mistake people make in not getting a raise or promotion is lacking confidence and being “mousey.” Would you want to give more money to someone who can’t look you in the eye, use a firm and clear voice and command your attention and respect? No, you wouldn’t - so why should your current boss or potential future employer.

2. How do you introduce yourself?
Do you have a memorable way of meeting people? If not, you should. Tell others that you mean business with your initial conversation and your first impression. You’ll get brownie points for making social connections i.e., asking questions or using body language such as nodding your head and smiling. I introduce myself as a master problem solver.

3. How do you present information and yourself?
Whether it’s an interview or a PowerPoint presentation, the best way to “communicate” your knowledge and ability is to be prepared, knowledgeable, and on time. Always communicate the W.I.F.M. factor (What’s in it for me?) and K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple for Stupid). This is certainly not insulting anyone nor their intelligence but rather a great idiom to remind you to be clear and concise.

4. How do you deliver an apology or explanation?
Chances are whatever bad news you have to deliver – it’s best to go with a sincere ‘less is more’ approach. I have seen many people talk themselves out of an apology by focusing on themselves and not the other party. If you say or do something that you wish you hadn’t – speak on and move on.
But before you do, remember that people want to be heard, so shut up and listen. Equally, learn how to find a positive spin in any negative. It softens the blow and makes people associate you with something good.

5. How do you ask others to do things?
It’s not what you say by truly how you say things. Period. Tone, volume, and frequency affects others. Follow a good rule of thumb – listen twice as much as you speak.

6. How do you relate to co-workers on a personal level?
Your goal is not to be the party-girl or after hours guy, but it is good to connect with select colleagues who share common interests. Find ways to strike up neutral topics such as hobbies, work background, and pop culture (minus the politics).

7. How do you express thanks and appreciation to others?
Everyone achieves because of the help of others. Find ways to say more than a generic thanks to those who help you in big and small ways.
>Communicate in clear and concise ways. This week practice new ways to ask for things and express what you experience. In time, you will be a seasoned pro at minimizing a lack of communication or misunderstanding.

I know what I love, and even what I do well—now what?

We each do one thing better than anyone else on the planet.  We often stumble onto that thing through trial and error, sheer accident or simple necessity, but we’re all an expert at something.  Chances are your thing has something to do with the fact that you’re a creator, inspirer, healer or protector, or a combination of the two.  But more than likely, you’re wondering, “I know what I like, and even where I excel, but how do I combine the two to create a successful life doing what I love?” Of course, there is no one straight path to follow, but these three simple strategies can help you take that next step in uncovering the answers to your question.   

  1. Stop trying to fit in someone else’s box—create your own darn box and “sell it”. Show someone an untapped need, and how you, and only you, can fill it. For more than a decade, I had helped hundreds of friends, colleagues and even strangers find new jobs, get into PR, and change industries and careers—not to mention changing my own career path numerous times.  My “aha” moment was realizing these experiences were promotable skills, that coupled with my background in communications, could enable me to market myself as a “teacher” to anyone navigating personal and professional transitions.
     
  2. Capitalize on who you are.  Chances are, if you were the hall monitor in grade school, we probably weren’t the best of friends.  However, I might hire you in a heartbeat to be my compliance officer/consultant. Know what makes you you, and embrace it. The story is that I started talking at 10 months old and … never stopped. I am a communicator, and at the heart of it, I am an inspirer and creator, sharing what I have learned (from some of the best) about marketing and branding to benefit others. Ask yourself who you are, and work it.
     
  3. Take stock in all ALL of your LIFE experiences (paid work, volunteering, hobbies, and especially favors and how you “give yourself” to friends and family).  What’s the common denominator of what you love AND do well?  For me, it was inspiring others to think from new perspectives.  Even though I was clueless at first about how to use this information, I was also excited because at least I knew where to “dig.”  I soon realized in what direction I had to head toward to discover my greatest passion and purpose – it had something to do with using communications to inspire others.

Thoughts of the Week:

  • The more positions you’ve had that you didn’t like, the more you’ll learn
  • Knowing who you aren’t is the first step to determining who you are
  • Don’t be too quick to say you’ll never do something again – you’ll only limit yourself more

Welcome to the Living on Purpose Project

As children we crave structure and discipline. As adults, we need meaning and purpose. But no one tells us how to do it, in part because no two paths are the same. However, two things are universal amongst people of all ages and in various stages of life and success: (1) everyone wants practical ideas to create bigger, brighter next steps, and (2) people who learn to build upon personal lessons and experiences (whether it’s their own or through others’) can generally better navigate their pursuit of happiness, success and purpose.

Sharing our collective unconventional wisdom about life and careers is a simple thing that we all can do. Telling people not just what we do in life, but also why and how we do it, can be the little thing that makes a huge difference in the choices and courses someone makes and follows. Because perhaps what may really make that difference in the road less traveled is connecting with someone who has traveled a similar road before you, and knowing that you’re not alone.

Writing the Living on Purpose Project – a blog and book about finding purpose and doing what you love – is a natural extension of my 15-year work as a marketing and career transition Adjunct Professor, and a perpetual student and teacher of life. The Living on Purpose Project is part of my path to purpose. What’s yours?

Living on Purpose Project ™ – Living Life with Exclamation ™