perseverance

November 9, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . .  Things That Suck but That We Can’t Change (At the Moment)

Sometimes despite our best efforts things simply don’t work out, or happen or move as fast as we’d like. We all have to deal with difficult career-related things of which we have no control. Here are some suggestions to deal with some common challenges.



1. Getting passed over for a promotion:
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a CEO or an entry-level worker, having to continue working for the same company after being turned down for a promotion doesn’t make anyone feel good. It sucks! However, don’t let this situation define you. If you believe you were qualified for the position, use this opportunity to “read the writing on the wall” and see why the decision makers may not be in your corner. Let this be the much needed motivation to dust off your resume and get moving on finding another job.

2. Needing to forego your dreams to deal with a personal or family situation:
We all have responsibilities to other people. At times we need to put our dreams on hold to help those closest to us. If you are in a holding pattern, remind yourself that all dreams deferred don’t “dry up like a raisin in the sun” and die. Some can actually gain momentum and even gain greater intensity after time has passed. Use your waiting time to refocus on your own dreams and your career goals. Sometimes no, isn’t no forever, just “no” for right now.

3. You’re in over your head at work:
Many times you may need to “act as if” in order to get a job or be considered for an opportunity. However, once you’ve gotten it, you may soon find that you aren’t able to do key aspects of the job or handle the pressure of the environment. Ask someone, preferably outside the organization, for help. I have helped many people navigate the first few months of a new job by ‘ghost-writing” key reports and presentations on their behalf. If you can’t find people or resources to provide you the needed support, consider creating a Plan B or, if needed, to bow out gracefully. Ideally, you should be the first to say that things aren’t working perfectly and to propose a “back up” plan. Identify someone (internally or externally) to assist you with the project or your job overall. Keep in mind that doing this runs the risk of losing your job. However, it’s far better to admit that you are unable to do something (well in advance of a deadline) or a few weeks or months in, than to drag out the inevitable and possibly destroy a professional bridge and your reputation in the process.

4. You can’t get out of a work rut:
You try to pursue different positions at your current job or even work on new projects, but you simply can’t get out of your career rut. Find a way to break away and recharge your batteries. Visit a friend or family member in another city, take a “mental health day” off from work or, simply do little and low cost things to change your routine like get a Mani/Pedi or buy/download a new book. The best way to break a rut is to change the way you think, which in turn will affect your actions and the reactions they create.

5. Dealing with being unemployed:
Do your best to keep yourself busy and your thoughts positive. As long as you are doing something every single day to change your employment status, be patient and creative with your time – things will happen. You might not be able to control when the job offers come but you certainly can take hold of how you creatively manage your time. Create a blog sharing your ups and downs of unemployment or showcasing your interest or hobby. Remember, in order to have something that you’ve never had, you often have to do things that you’ve never done.

6. They are planning to outsource or phase out your position:
If you are currently working in an industry or department that you know in time will soon be downsized or eliminated entirely, start creating a plan for the future today. You may not be able to stop the axe from chopping your job but you should and can start exploring new opportunities for when, and not if, that occurs. I know many people who work in journalism and publishing who have successfully evolved and grown along with the industry – enabling them to not only stay employed but remain in demand.

7. You are still waiting for the temporary (or part-time) job that you were told would become permanent:
Many opportunities start as short-term or temporary assignments but in time can become full-time jobs. If you are currently in this situation, and even if the date that you should have gotten your permanent title has long passed, keep giving 110%. You don’t want to lose steam and have someone make the decision to not to hire you when you lost your passion because things were taking longer than you would have liked.

Just because things have not happened, doesn’t mean they never will. The key is to have and exhibit the 3 Ps – patience, persistence and perseverance. Life and career are not always perfect and at times we all have phases or positions that are really tough – so hold on. This week remind yourself that you might not be able to change things today, but you can change your perspective and put things in place to be prepared when change happens.

October 26, 2016   Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to  . . . Ways Mind/Body Balance Can Help You Succeed (And Why It's Not B.S!)

You’re young and healthy and would never believe that stress can be slowing you down and blocking you from the job of your dreams. Mind/Body Balance isn’t hippie, new age stuff, but a proven method to help you make a successful professional transition and sustain an effective long-term life and career. It’s not too late to join our #LOPP30daychallenge, try some of these suggestions today.



1. You’re not sick you’re thirsty:
Water for Health, for Healing for Life: You’re Not Sick You’re Thirsty by F. Batmanghelidj, MD is an interesting book with a basic premise – that water is the free “miracle” solution to the many things that ail you. Your body is comprised of about 65 percent water, which is needed for a number of physiological processes and biochemical reactions, including: blood circulation; metabolism; regulation of body temperature; waste removal and detoxification. Once your body has lost between one to two percent of its total water content, it will signal its needs by making you feel thirsty. However, by the time your thirst mechanism actually kicks in, you’re already in the early stages of dehydration, so you don’t want to ignore the initial sensations of thirst. In addition, hunger and sugar cravings, in particular, can also be a sign that your body is crying for water, so when you feel hungry, drink a glass of water first.

Doctors and nutritionists suggest that adults drink eight, 8-ounce glasses a day, but recent studies show the ideal amount varies from person to person. Water is also a natural preventative medicine and could also be an effective defense to address depression, headaches, obesity, and numerous other conditions and diseases that are related to persistent dehydration. If you don’t like the “taste” of water – get over it. Flavor your water with not just lemon and lime, but add mint, strawberries or even cucumber slices to your pitcher or water bottle. Regardless of how much water you currently drink, challenge yourself to drink two more glasses a day this week until you build up a healthy habit of eight to ten glasses every day.

2. Creating a daily practice:
Practice, routines, and patterns are not only the way we learn how to do things, they are proven and speedy gateways to a successful life. Scheduling things at a certain time every day provides structure and discipline that indirectly creates effective time management. Starting the day by reading an inspirational message or taking 5 minutes of silence can not only offer a great motivation to kick start things it can also begin a pattern of accomplishment and ultimately success. Browse through a book of motivational quotes and/or stories or download one of many “quote of the day” apps. Let the daily topics guide you to find new energy and zest for life each and every day. Sure, things will happen and some days you’ll face challenges. Putting positivity in motion to not only counter negativity but also attract more positive energy and people throughout the day.

3. Create and embrace a personal and work mantra:
No matter your industry or the stage of your career everyone needs a mantra to guide and remind you to stay positive in the face of adversity. Mantras are single words, phrases, or rhetorical questions that offer personal meaning and inspiration during tough life and career times. “Believe,” “don’t sweat the small stuff,” or “it has to be someone, why not me?” are more than just words when used the right way. Develop your own or borrow a favorite mantra from some of our Living on Purpose Project interviewees like, “fake it till you make it,” or “it’s all good.” My personal mental work/career go-to mantra is “if you’re not doing something every day to get what you want, how bad do you really want it?” This is not just about saying “warm and fuzzy” words to make you feel good at the moment but rather a proven long-term technique for creating positive change and accomplishments. If you don’t believe me, ask the countless famous athletes, business people, and entrepreneurs who use it every day! Find or develop three possible work mantras to try out this week when your boss or co-worker tries your patience or when you need a little boost to hang in there until change happens.

4. Practice power breathing to relieve stress and anxiety:
Anxiety affects 40 million adults in the United States 18 and over, or 18 % of the population – according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. In addition, it’s not uncommon for people who experience anxiety to also experience depression or vice versa. The truth is, almost everyone experiences one or the other at some point in life – often triggered by stressful life events like losing a loved one or job, or dealing with chronic money problems. However, if you feel anxious and nervous much of the time, seek advice from an expert and try to adopt daily activities, such as taking deep breaths, power breathing, and yoga. Everyone gets even a little nervous before an interview or at a networking event, today read this Forbes article about these simple things that can have surprising results

5. Take a deep stretch and try yoga:
Yoga is perhaps one of the best mind/body exercises to achieve mental and career balance. It stretches both your muscles and your mind simultaneously. Stretching is essential to circulation but is also a great way to jumpstart your day. Ever notice how dogs stretch every single time they get up. It’s an instinct and “trick” that many animals do that humans should learn. Take a class or simply try some exercises like the sun salutation (which you can find on YouTube) at home. Perhaps in time you’ll join people like Russell Simmons who credit it as a key to success in career and life. Today check out this article where Russell explains what yoga is all about and schedule a time to do a least one yoga class or routine (at home) before the end of the month

6. Introduce your mind to meditation:
The first time I tried meditating more than 20 years ago, I hated it. It was nearly impossible for me to clear my mind, to literally think about “nothing.” I tried guided meditation, read books, took classes and even studied transcendental meditation for a while – yet I felt like a meditation “failure” and soon “dropped out.” A few years later, one day out of the blue I tried it again. However this time, I simply took away the “label” of calling it meditation and had a “breakthrough.”

When I stopped focusing on trying to “meditate” and started simply trying to quiet my mind for 5 minutes at a time I could do it. Soon I was able to add a second, and then third, 5-minute session and eventually could do 30 minutes a day. Take time to clear your negative and “busy” thoughts and replace them with deep breaths and positive ideas.

You don’t have to become a Zen master to tap into the power of meditation and release it’s calming, and stress relieving benefits. This week take 5 minutes to lie flat on the floor without any light or sound, and simply close your eyes and breathe. As random thoughts come into your mind, like a negative comment someone recently said, little questions such as what you’re going to have for dinner, or major issues like how you’re going to pay rent - acknowledge the thought then “push” it away. When a thought comes, simply take a breath, re-focus and try again. It doesn’t matter if these thoughts happen two or twenty times in 5 minutes; remember it is about progress and not perfection.

7. Visualize success:
Many successful people talk about how they envisioned their success before they achieved it. I recently saw an interview of Taylor Swift a year after her first album became a mega hit. Someone asked her if fame and success was as she “imagined it” would be and she replied “yes, even better.” Who knows if she would say the same thing today? The point is that perhaps part of the reason why she (and others) achieved success is because she actually took time to “see” it happen. Positive visualization has been taught by everyone from religious leaders to coaches, and has been an incredible tool for millions of people throughout the world. Take time to “day dream” about the way your life will be when, not if, change happens. The next time you believe you won’t be able to do something, simply take 7 minutes to first visualize that it has already happened. Then say to yourself (over and over) that it WILL happen. Start with simple, less emotional things like making your bus or train. Instead of saying, “oh shoot I’m going to miss the train,” create a quick visual in your mind of arriving to the station in the nick of time and taking a seat as the train or bus leaves. Then as you hustle and travel to get there, keep repeating to yourself “I WILL make the train, I WILL make the train, I WILL make the train.” And, 80 % of the time you WILL make it!


Some argue that success is more about mental focus, your “head game” and perseverance, and less about talent and opportunity. Your mind/body skills are just as important as other abilities and skills related to succeeding in your industry or career. Think about this. If you go on an interview feeling anxious or depressed, or thinking or visualizing “I’m unqualified and won’t get the job” – I guarantee you won’t get the job! But with a positive attitude you have a real chance. Today, ask yourself if even you would hire yourself based on the way you think and your mental approach to things right now? If the answer is no, try some of these ideas and activities to change that answer and become the person that anyone would hire in a heartbeat.

August 31, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Creating a Fulfilled and Purpose-Filled Life

One of my favorite people is Anna Quindlen, author of the bestselling novels Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue. Her New York Times column “Public and Private” won a Pulitzer Prize in 1992, she has also penned a number of other great reads. Although most of Anna’s books are novels, she wrote an amazing non-fiction book called A Short Guide to a Happy Life (Random House). Taking inspiration from some of the many great ideas and themes in this tiny powerhouse, here are seven simple steps to explore and discover purpose.



1. Be Present:

Stop your words and body from moving and be still and present for at least 10 minutes a day. Turn off all devices and try your best to return your mind to “nothingness” when it wanders. Having this time to re-charge is essential to moving to where you want to be in the future.



2. Have different kinds of new and old “fun:”

Carnival ride-fun, concert-fun, watching a baby sleep-fun, some trying new things-fun, and going new places-fun.

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Not all parts of life are fun, however, we can find an element of fun in anything that we do. Fun helps us grow and connect with who we are and more importantly who we can become.



3. Think of and embrace your worst mistake:

Claim one lesson you learned from your biggest mistake, and think about what it taught yourself and others. When you claim your mistakes it frees you from them and eliminates the fear of someone else hanging it over your head. Mistakes (that we learn from) give us wisdom and make us who we are, perhaps even more than our successes. Create a concise story about your mistake and the lesson you learned from it to share with others ensure that their path will be easier to navigate.


4. Be a good (Fill-in-the-blank):

Don’t just choose generic words to fill in this blank like friend/daughter/son/mother/father instead use words or phrases that define how your actions and presence impact others. For example, I want to be a good “motivator” who lifts people up when they are feeling down and inspires others to make change. Or I want people to feel supported and empowered in my presence.



5. Remind yourself that nothing is promised:

We often put off making career changes because we assume that we’ll always have time to do so. The truth is, nothing is guaranteed. Make sure that the last words you speak to your family, loved ones and even colleagues are life-lasting. Take time to do something each week that works toward bringing you happiness. No matter how young you are live life knowing that your last work or deed could be your last.



6. Create a life that both connects you with others and allows you to have alone time:

Spend time teaching others and invest time alone learning about yourself. Find ways to “sign up” and “sit in the back seat” and learn what inspires you and what you do well.



7. Help others by sharing your craft, experiences and everything you know:

Your job at any age or stage is to help another person. We are all “teachers” and all “students.” There are always people who admire who you are and what you do no matter where you are in life. Through the process of sharing, you grow and learn not just about the experience you share, but about yourself.



We all experience success in our personal lives and in our careers. However, it’s often hard to sustain success in both parts of our life simultaneously. This week, try some of these suggested tips or pick up a copy of an Anna Quindlen’s book from a library or book store and start creating your own personal guide to a happy life.

August 24, 2016 Seven Things to Think about When it Comes to . . . Things not Turning Out the Way You Want.

Sometimes we do all the right things: exceed in our current jobs, continue our education or take a class to learn a new skill, but despite our best efforts, things still don’t go our way. Here are a few things to think about when you’re doing everything “right” but things are still going very “wrong.”



1. You can be everything you’re supposed to be but not everything you want to be:

Hopefully while you were growing up someone told you that you could be anything you wanted to be. Although very encouraging, this is, unfortunately, not true. I want to sing like the late Whitney Houston but no matter how hard I try that will never happen. We each need to spend time discovering what natural skills and abilities we were given and find ways to cultivate them and use them in how we work and what we do. Sometimes you may be pursuing something that you’re just not meant to do or be.



2. It’s time for you to do your own thing:

Many successful businesses are started by people who were once unemployed or unable to find the ideal job for them - so they created their own.

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Everyone has a “lotto” business idea i.e., the type of company or business they’d love to have if money was not a factor. What’s yours? Often there is never a perfect opportunity to start an entrepreneurial venture. Sometimes that thing that you’re supposed to do falls into place when you create a plan, believe in yourself and just take the leap of faith.


3. You need to work smarter - not harder:

You’re inability to advance in your line of work or change careers may have less to do with what you’re doing and more to do with how you’re approaching things. For example, you might be spending two hours a day posting your resume to job boards like

www.Indeed.com

when you should be spending six hours every day reaching out everyone you know (and everyone they know) to expand your professional contacts and find job leads. Remember that about approximately 80% of workers get hired or selected for opportunities because of a personal contact or reference.



4. Life isn’t fair - but the universe is:

Sometimes we are more qualified, more capable and more talented than the person who gets the job. Learning to accept what we can’t change is a continuous life lesson that we all have to learn. Remind yourself that no one ever achieved anything great with negative thoughts and energy. Forget excessive time wondering why someone got something that may have been rightfully yours and instead focus on what you can do and what else the universe has planned for you.



5. You need to hone your craft:

There are many reasons why you might not be hired for your dream job, but there’s no reason for you to lack experience in the field/area in which you want to work. Expand your experience by working for free, helping others with their new business ideas, taking a class, and doing just about anything and everything to get your side hustle on! Everyone, especially those looking to make a career transition, needs a side venture or hustle – so start yours today.



6. You think you are ready but you’re really not:

When it comes to career, your skill sets and are not the only things you need to master. Sometimes what’s holding us back is ourselves. Spend time each week honing your judgement or your ability to “read” people and situations, and even how to play office politics.



7. Something better awaits you:

Things might not be working out the way you would like because something better is waiting for you. What you think is your “dream job” could actually be “peanuts” in comparison to the perfect opportunity that you are meant to have. Some things in life and career are simply a matter of timing. Be patient and make the most of the time spent waiting for that bigger and brighter opportunity to appear.




The first line in the classic M. Scott Peck book, The Road Less Traveled is “Life is Difficult.” Life however can become at bit easier to navigate when you accept this reality and learn to take inventory in what you really enjoy and were born to do. This week take a second look at something that recently did not work out the way you would have liked – and consider these seven ideas to work on moving forward with a fresh perspective.