March 8, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to … Questions that Can Actually Help You Learn from and Build Upon Professional Experiences.

We all have the ability to learn and grow from all of our life experiences. With time and practice, we can become skilled at applying what we have learned to help us better navigate both our personal and professional lives. Here are seven simple yet effective questions to help you build upon your experiences, understand which things NOT to do or pursue and discover ways to do what you love.

1. What was your worst job?

Sometimes knowing what you DON’T like is more valuable than knowing what you think you do like - because it tells you what type of people to avoid and what roles to never pursue again.

When I was 16 I worked at a small ladies boutique in Center City, Philadelphia. They paid minimum wage plus 3% commission. I was offered the job after serving as a host/model for Philadelphia magazine’s “Best of Philly” events and parties on behalf of the store.

One Saturday I came into work expecting to find my $300 commission check but instead was greeted by a 3 x 5 index card that said: “Effective immediately sales associates will no longer receive commissions.” As I read that sign, I thought I could have a confrontational argument with the owners OR take those leather pants I had been eyeing for months, lock up the store and bounce. I did the latter and never looked back. The owners showed me who they were by breaking their promise and not keeping their word and I never gave them a chance to do the same thing to me again.

2. What was your favorite job?

Focus on the specific aspects of the job that you loved i.e., did you like the fact that you worked non-traditional hours, with creative people, or attended a lot of industry events.

I loved my years working with NIKE and the Jordan Brand, especially working with so many passionate business people, athletes and celebrities. I also loved my first job at AT&T and working overseas because of the autonomy and responsibility it offered. Since holding these positions, I have continued to seek out other opportunities that offer the same chances to do and work with the things I love.

3. What is the craziest thing that you’ve heard someone say during your career?

You can learn a lot from others mistakes if you pay careful attention to what people say in a group setting and how the decision makers respond or react.

When I worked as a freelancer, I attended a production meeting hosted by the prospective client. At the end of the meeting, the client opened the floor to questions. One young publicist asked, “what would I have to do to get fired? and what things will we not be able to get away with?”

Her question to the prospective client basically asked, “what is the least amount of effort I can give and still get paid.” Work ethics, integrity, and professional abilities aren’t just words but rather guides to help you present yourself and interact with others in a positive way.

Twenty years later I still shake my head every time I see someone verbalize and seek to strive for low expectations and doing the bare minimum.

4. What was some of the best advice that you’ve received throughout your career?

We have all been given great words of wisdom in our relationships, work and even our careers. However, do you know how to take advice from one aspect of your life and apply it to another life experience?

I once asked a prospective client what type of budget he had to work with. He replied, I want to pay you what YOU think you are worth. It taught me that people who feel valued will always give you 110% when/if needed, while those who feel that they are underpaid and over-worked will never go the extra mile with or for you. And, if they do – they will most likely resent you.

5. What are some of your professional accomplishments that make you feel proud?

We tend to be most proud of things that help/benefit others, create experiences, and do what others have not been able to achieve.

Executive producing and planning special events always makes me feel proud. It’s like conducting an orchestra with many moving people and parts. I’ve done hundreds of events, however, two events that will always stand out are - the Brand Jordan NBA All Star Party in Philly and securing the NYSE opening bell ceremony for iconic soul food restaurant Sylvia’s.

6. What is a professional risk you took that changed your life?

Career success is often a high-risk, high-reward world. Risks are tiny tests of our stamina, persistence and endurance. Practice taking small career-related risks every day so you’ll be prepared when opportunity presents itself.

Living and working outside of the country was something I did not embrace immediately. In fact, I passed up an international assignment in Asia before I accepted one working in Europe, The Middle East, and Africa.
When you live in another country where you don’t know a soul – you quickly learn how to become highly resourceful and independent, not to mention comfortable with yourself and doing things alone. Embrace chances to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember, no risk – no reward.

7. Who was your worst boss?

People who fail us are often our best life teachers.

I am lucky to say that I have only had ONE bad supervisor/boss. She would take credit for my efforts, not include me in key meetings, and gossiped about me and everyone in the department like a 12-year old girl. But what really made her a horrible boss was her lack of professionalism. Sure we don’t have to like everyone, but we have to always demonstrate respect and professionalism to those we work for and also those who work for us.

This week take a few minutes a day to ask yourself one question. Examine how the answer can help you move toward doing what you love.

January 18, 2017 ASK PATRICE . . . When It Comes to Negotiating a Higher Salary, Even with Less Than 5-7 Years of Experience.

Each month we are going to feature a question from a Living on Purpose Project (LOPP) fan or follower and provide “straight no chaser” career advice from our CEO and Founder, Patrice Anderson. If you have a career-related question you’d like to ask, please comment on social media or directly email us atlivingonpurposeproject@gmail.com

“I have almost five years of experience, and less than two in my desired field. I have been offered a position at a mid-size company doing what I like but the salary is the same as my current position at a larger firm. How can I negotiate a higher salary?”

Negotiating is something I am lucky to have learned, literally from some of the best in the business. Here are secrets to asking for a higher salary and other forms of compensation. Following them will take your negotiation skills from shaky to successful in no time:

1. Wear your poker face: Letting others know what you’re thinking is the kiss of death when it comes to any negotiation. So don’t do it. Play it cool, and act as if you have MANY options and have done this before. Even if this is your first job offer in 2 years or you don’t have a clue about negotiation – act as if.

2. Six degrees of separation: Gather as much intelligence on the key players as you can. Who are the decision makers? How long have they been with the organization?
Know their successes and weaknesses, as well as who they have worked and gone to school with. Effective name dropping is effective. Create and start to cultivate a connection through shared associates and experiences. Your ultimate goal is to motivate them to believing that you are the candidate they MUST have.

3. Charm to disarm: My grandmother always told me – “you catch more bees with honey than you do with _ _ _ _.” Be pleasant and honest. People will know when you are overdoing it – so start with basic niceties like their appearance or a good point they made. Then move up to say and show the appropriate amount of deference and your respect. You can kill any deal simply by rude behavior and poor business etiquette

4. Demonstrate and prove others are being paid more: Talk in a non-threatening way about how the position you are considering is extremely similar or exact to another in the company/field/industry. A position that is paid at a higher salary. Something like “the positon you describe sounds more like (INSERT ONE LEVEL HIGHER) and detail all that you are being expected to do. Pay note to supervising even an intern. If it’s an assistant positon say it sounds like a “coordinator.” If they call it a manager say it sounds like a senior manager or director.

Your goal is to point to other people doing the same job for more money. If you need to build a better case – highlight that you know the previous person to hold that position had fewer responsibilities. And, to seal the deal offer to take on another project, area or department to clearly demonstrate the significant increase in job responsibilities – and to give them leeway to adjust the salary.

5. Highlight your negatives: After explaining your sincere interest and aptitude to do the job at hand – mention the “down side” for you. Will your commute time/expense double? Are you leaving a more well-known or prestigious brand or company? Share as they say, the “facts.”

Then remind them of what impressed them about you in the interview or prior meeting and share three (3) strong industry and/or career accomplishments. Reinforce this “negative” message with your desire to be a part of their team.

6. Ask rhetorical questions: People are more likely to be flexible and concede when they don’t feel confronted. Making your comments (and even reservations) into rhetorical questions is a great way to prevent things from going “left” (at best) or contentious (at worst).

Saying something like, “I really want the positon but I wish that there was some way I could not have the added expense of commuting?” or “The position is great but it really sounds much like an Account Executive, not a Coordinator, which I know has a much higher salary?

7. Be direct about the extras: Depending on the company, you should ask about signing bonus, performance based stock options, assistance with relocation or moving costs, and increased transportation. These pay outs may not come in lump sum, one-time payment but – money is money.

Everything in life is negotiable and everything in life requires some form of negotiation. Stop limiting your career options by lacking knowledge and experience in negotiating with people at all levels.

This week start by practicing some of these tips, reading more about the topic, and enlisting a friend to role-play the part of your future employer.

DJ Khaled - All I Do Is Win Feat. Ludacris, Rick Ross, Snoop Dogg & T-Pain from DAYO HAREWOOD on Vimeo.

December 7, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Inspirational Quotes to Get You Off Your _ _ _ _ and Create Some Real Changes Before the End of The Year!

Think of this as a wise, trusted friend passing you a “note” in 8th grade that you’ll want to read, digest, share and discuss with others. Here are seven non-traditional quotes that can literally change your life.

1. Life is not a dress rehearsal: We don’t control how long we have. But we each have 24 hours each day to make the most of whatever experiences and abilities that we do have.

2. Experiences prepare us to live more fully and make informed choices: Living with different people, places, customs and traditions creates confidence. The more diverse experiences we have the more we experience the “more” that life has to offer.

3. Advice is what you ask when you already know the answer but WISH it were different: Instincts are our mental muscles that we must stretch and continually use to guide us to make our own decisions and not react in fear or out of insecurity.

4. Life is a series of choices. You make a choice, and if things don’t work out, you simply make another choice: Living this way means you can never really fail. Make your own choices and live your own dreams!

5. Everyone struggles with something: Face whatever it is square in the face and turn your misery into meaning. Use your “something” to empower yourself and others.

6. Walk. Breathe. Repeat.: I recently heard Robyn Roberts say these three simple words that she used to say to herself as she battled cancer, not once, but twice. Crappy stuff happens to us all - so when it does find something that will encourage you to pick yourself up and keep moving.

7. Live. Love. Do. Don’t think it needs explanation, but live, loving what you do and doing what you love.

The holidays are around the corner and with them comes stress and issues (our own and others). During this last month of 2016, embrace one new way of thinking and you will certainly change your experiences, your circumstances, and your career.

September 14, 2016 Marketing professional and graduate student Darya Kulyk on dealing with jealousy and competition, finding a job as a new immigrant in NYC, standing out in any situation, and the “other” side of success.

Growing up in Ukraine Darya Kulyk’s experiences were different from many children living in the U.S., and her opportunities were very limited. She excelled in her classes and was involved in the school newspaper and student government. Darya succeeded at almost everything she did but she soon discovered that having diverse talents actually made it more difficult, and not easier, to realize her true passions and ultimate career interest.

Doing many things well also taught her an important lesson about life at a young age. Darya says that she always noticed the way that others, mostly girls, reacted to her success. Being a top finalist for almost everything caused many people to act jealous towards her. And, while some kids in her position might have shied away from the spotlight to fit in or be liked, Darya just dealt with it. She kept doing the things she liked and stayed involved in the things she did well. In realizing, and more importantly in accepting, that everyone is not going to “like you,” Darya has learned to navigate life doing what she likes regardless of how others feel about it.

Can you share one specific risk that you took that didn’t go as planned, but you don’t regret?

I look at everything as an opportunity, so I don’t really regret anything that I’ve done. However, looking back I wonder how a couple of things would have worked out if had I done them differently. For example, after high school, I immediately started working for a couple of years to find out what I wanted to do. Later, when I went to college I felt like I knew everything or at least enough to make my own decisions, and so I didn’t consult with anybody about anything I was doing. In hindsight, I think now how I could have used the five years in college more efficiently if I had asked others for advice and suggestions.

Other times, I think what might have happened had I pursued science or math, instead of a liberal arts degree. When I applied to graduate schools, I thought about these things thinking that perhaps if I had a more substantial background and a different undergraduate degree; it would have been more useful. But I don’t regret studying media and communications. Working in marketing, I’ve found it very useful and important to have a lot of different skill sets. At the end of the day, I pursued what I liked – a little bit of everything. So instead of thinking about whatever “might have been,” I think that things worked out the way they were supposed to and I guess that’s what really matters.

Coming from Ukraine to the U.S. you had to create opportunities. How did you figure out what steps to take? And, what’s your advice to someone who is in a similar position?

When I came to New York, I didn’t even have a resume. One day I sat down and wrote out everything I knew how to do.

My goal was to send out 50 resumes a day, so that’s what I did. I used Craigslist like crazy. I sent my resume anywhere and everywhere, even newspaper ads, which matched positions I was looking for, even if it was just a tiny bit.

Being an immigrant doesn’t really give you a lot of time to “weigh your options” because like everyone else you have to make a living. I knew I did not want to wait tables so I started looking into office assistant positions and luckily I got one as soon as I came here after high school. It was a small office but it gave me a lot of experience with the Internet, e-commerce, working on business proposals and much more.

As a young professional woman and wife, how do you navigate focusing your attention on yourself and your career?

My husband recently decided to make a 180 in his career and go into medicine. He is going to be an anesthesia nurse. The past two years, he has been in a very rigorous program that been challenging for both of us.

I came to a point in my life when I realized that I wasn’t happy. Something was bothering me. I was becoming an accessory to what his [my husband’s] goals were. I asked myself, “If I were alone right now, what would I want to do in my life?” Right away the answer came, “to go back to school.” So I talked to my husband and realized this could be the perfect time to do it. I thought hey, we can even study together. So applied and (got accepted to) Baruch’s MS program.

If you’re not happy or something is not going the way that you would like, do something about it now. Don’t wait for better or perfect conditions, they may never come.

Do you have any tips to help anyone consistently stand out in professional situations?

Organization and attention to detail is key and extremely important. In any professional environment, which includes school, do your research. Research your boss, a professor, or the field you’re studying or want to work in. It will help you feel more comfortable in your new environment. Doing anything new is always uncomfortable because it’s unfamiliar. Having prior knowledge and feeling prepared is critical when trying something new and different.

At work, I think I stand out by being organized and prepared. This includes the little things like following up after a conversation, or reviewing emails and making notes of things I’ll look into further. It’s looking at everything because, more than likely, it’s the one little detail that can be or make a very important difference.

Do you consider yourself a competitive person? If so, how does that affect your life and career choices?

I am competitive and like competition. However, I don’t like losing [laughter]. Nobody does, but losing is part of playing any “game.” I’m learning that the more serious the “competition,” the higher the chance you may actually lose. But that’s okay, because sometimes the higher the risk – the higher the reward.

But you have to be in the game, participate and just try. While you may not win the entire match, you’ll be more prepared than you were before you tried, and you’ll have gotten something out of it because you did something you like.

In high school, I worked hard but my academic life and many other things came very easy to me. Later in life, however, I didn’t always feel “prepared” or that things came as easily as I juggled many challenges in other areas of my life and career.

Do you think you can be competitive and also supportive of your professional peers/colleagues?

Absolutely. Never be afraid to compliment someone and to tell them how good they are, even for the tiniest little thing. It may not be important to you but it can be huge to another person. Everyone needs to be acknowledged for something good. It may sound overly simplistic but it’s also smart to be kind and friendly to people.

What is the biggest lesson learned from someone’s unconventional or quiet wisdom?

Everyday I watched a former colleague demonstrate that you can be knowledgeable, but you shouldn’t throw your advice at people if they didn’t ask for it.

You might believe or confidently know more than someone else, but if they didn’t ask for advice or suggestions – don’t just give it to them. If somebody asks you for help then certainly go all out. But if not, keep your mouth shut.

About Darya Kulyk: Darya Kulyk works full time as an account manager at Rewards Network. She is also a full-time graduate student pursuing her MS degree in Marketing Analytics at the Zicklin School of Business of Baruch College. Darya has created a successful career working for several small to medium size businesses in NYC holding various administrative and managerial positions. She is “Living on Purpose” by enjoying life’s challenges and embracing each one as an opportunity to learn. Darya has a BA in Media Studies and minor in Economics from Hunter College. Follow Darya on LinkedIn at Darya Kulyk. # # #

August 31, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Creating a Fulfilled and Purpose-Filled Life

One of my favorite people is Anna Quindlen, author of the bestselling novels Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue. Her New York Times column “Public and Private” won a Pulitzer Prize in 1992, she has also penned a number of other great reads. Although most of Anna’s books are novels, she wrote an amazing non-fiction book called A Short Guide to a Happy Life (Random House). Taking inspiration from some of the many great ideas and themes in this tiny powerhouse, here are seven simple steps to explore and discover purpose.

1. Be Present:

Stop your words and body from moving and be still and present for at least 10 minutes a day. Turn off all devices and try your best to return your mind to “nothingness” when it wanders. Having this time to re-charge is essential to moving to where you want to be in the future.

2. Have different kinds of new and old “fun:”

Carnival ride-fun, concert-fun, watching a baby sleep-fun, some trying new things-fun, and going new places-fun.

Not all parts of life are fun, however, we can find an element of fun in anything that we do. Fun helps us grow and connect with who we are and more importantly who we can become.

3. Think of and embrace your worst mistake:

Claim one lesson you learned from your biggest mistake, and think about what it taught yourself and others. When you claim your mistakes it frees you from them and eliminates the fear of someone else hanging it over your head. Mistakes (that we learn from) give us wisdom and make us who we are, perhaps even more than our successes. Create a concise story about your mistake and the lesson you learned from it to share with others ensure that their path will be easier to navigate.

4. Be a good (Fill-in-the-blank):

Don’t just choose generic words to fill in this blank like friend/daughter/son/mother/father instead use words or phrases that define how your actions and presence impact others. For example, I want to be a good “motivator” who lifts people up when they are feeling down and inspires others to make change. Or I want people to feel supported and empowered in my presence.

5. Remind yourself that nothing is promised:

We often put off making career changes because we assume that we’ll always have time to do so. The truth is, nothing is guaranteed. Make sure that the last words you speak to your family, loved ones and even colleagues are life-lasting. Take time to do something each week that works toward bringing you happiness. No matter how young you are live life knowing that your last work or deed could be your last.

6. Create a life that both connects you with others and allows you to have alone time:

Spend time teaching others and invest time alone learning about yourself. Find ways to “sign up” and “sit in the back seat” and learn what inspires you and what you do well.

7. Help others by sharing your craft, experiences and everything you know:

Your job at any age or stage is to help another person. We are all “teachers” and all “students.” There are always people who admire who you are and what you do no matter where you are in life. Through the process of sharing, you grow and learn not just about the experience you share, but about yourself.

We all experience success in our personal lives and in our careers. However, it’s often hard to sustain success in both parts of our life simultaneously. This week, try some of these suggested tips or pick up a copy of an Anna Quindlen’s book from a library or book store and start creating your own personal guide to a happy life.

Breaking into a new field when you lack “experience”

One of the many things I love (and do well) is using branding and marketing strategies and tactics to help people in life and career.  As a quick reminder, strategies are what we want to do (i.e., create, advance in, or even break into a new field/career/industry).  Tactics are how we actually go about doing it (i.e., work as a consultant doing freelance projects while keeping your full time gig, taking a part-time job to pay the bills or creating some ‘hustle’ on the side).

Regardless of industry, you need to first identify and then communicate a consistent and distinct professional brand.  Often, all you need is just a simple phrase or even a couple of words that can effectively communicate who you are and what you do (i.e., your brand).  Let’s say you’ve worked for a few years in internal communications and you are making a segway into TV production – your brand may be a “master storyteller.” Or perhaps you work in IT or Project Management helping organize processes or correct other people’s problems, so your brand is an “organizer of chaos” or the “fixer.”

Once you have clearly defined the essence of your brand and its core attributes, now you have to find (or most likely create) untraditional ways to promote yourself.  Your first step is to draft (or hire someone) to develop a professional biography.  

A bio is one of the best marketing tools for anyone involved in career exploration or seeking to advance to the next level of career readiness.  It allows you to transcend the confines of titles, and put the focus on what really matters (the experience itself) and not when it occurred. For example, you may have worked in sales 10 years ago for five years. That information sticks out like a “you really don’t have experience in this field” type of resume. But the bio lets you tell your whole “story,” and enables you to pick the characters, roles and scenes that relate to what you want to do now and moving forward.

A resume is a linear, chronological history of your professional life.  And, people are just as linear as the resume. Often, we only see what’s presented right in front of us.  You show someone a resume of a person who hasn’t worked at the “required” level (for more than a decade or even at all), then that’s how they will see you.  But if you give them your customized resume (a requirement for almost every job) and also provide a great bio that tells your complete professional story in a way that demonstrates your brand value, you might be given a shot to prove yourself.

Your bio effectively unites your professional brand, “unrelated” experience and work history, and prepares you to tell a believable story.  A believable story is one that convinces others you are the perfect person for the job, despite what your resume may or may not ‘say.’  Your story is not something you “wing” on the interview but rather what you create and fine-tune well before any opportunity presents itself.

With your bio, brand and believable story in hand, you are armed to explore and create unconventional ways to get to your end goal.  Volunteer or work for free to get more hands-on experience in an area where you want to work.
Reach out to a larger competitor who doesn’t have the time (or desire) to support clients that are “too small for them” but just right for your start-up business.  Take a class or teach one to network with both instructors and peers who are currently doing the very thing you dream about.  

Almost every great “empire” started as a side hustle, so today do one small thing to jumpstart yours.  In doing something unconventional, I promise you that not only will it pay off but it will get you several steps closer to life and career that enables you to do what you love.