April 12, 2017 Seven Things To Think About How Helping Others in Their Career Can Help You In Yours

People hire people they know and like. In fact, most people get hired because of a referral of a friend, family member or former colleague. Therefore, being nice and acknowledging others for their achievements is a great way to forge friendly work relationships. In time, these colleagues and contacts will proactively recommend you for future positions and opportunities. Here are seven ways to become the king or queen of niceness. Seven simple things that can expand your network and create a wider pool of potential opportunities.

1. Be the Change: Show people what you believe life’s important things to be – don’t just tell them. If teamwork, supporting others, and a positive work environment are a high priority then show don’t tell.

2. Encourage Everyone: Everyone loves a pat on the back and to hear that they are doing a good job. Find ways to extend your heart and hand to those who need them.

3. Honor with Humility: Admit your mistakes and say the magic words: “I was wrong.” These words leave a better impact than “I’m Sorry.” Also when you are right be humble and don’t flaunt your “wins” and “successes.”

4. Thoughtfulness: Promise to think before you speak. Even when asked, give very little advice and let others take the lead and explain their plan and how to implement it.

5. Appreciation: Find daily ways to express appreciation and gratitude for everything people do to get the job done.

6. Patience: Let others know that everyone makes mistakes and deserves time to start over and do things again. Treat others with the same level of patience you’d hope someone would give to you.

7. Tolerance: Remove assumptions and see people for who they are and not what you expect them to be. Don’t just accept others. Instead make proactive strides to embrace them and make them feel part of the team.

It’s time to bring niceness back! Think about it. You are far more likely to advance your career with kindness than by treating others poorly. This week brush up on your niceness and soon you’ll find that it is an effective professional tool to create change.

April 5, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to Figuring Out Whether Your Are Stuck or If You’re in a Professional Holding Pattern.

The Living on Purpose Project recently celebrated our 2nd anniversary on April 1, 2017. It was a great opportunity to celebrate where we have been and to get excited by what lies ahead. However, sometimes you reach a milestone yet don’t feel like you have anything to celebrate because you feel stuck.

The next time you are feeling like you are in a rut or in a place you don’t want to be – consider that you are in a professional holding pattern. Here are seven common career holding patterns and how to adopt a new perspective when facing them.

1. I hate my job:

Most people experience this feeling a few times throughout their lives, often early on and in the middle of their careers.

Turn your frustration into motivation by making a list of everything this crappy experience is teaching you about what not to do and what type of job you want to be sure to avoid moving forward.

2. I don’t know what I really want to do:

Start by reading the Living on Purpose Project interviews and posts (arranged by topic in our Archives). Then begin doing whatever you are interested in. Think you’d like a job as a social media specialist? Help a friend develop social media pages and posts for their small or new business. Sometimes you can improve your job satisfaction by simply doing more of what you love outside of the office.

3. I can’t make a lateral move into another dept or area:

Unfortunately, you may have to leave your current organization in order to be considered for a bigger and brighter opportunity. Companies of all sizes generally focus their time and energy on senior executives – making opportunities for everyone else non-existent.

4. I am in business for myself but can’t find any new clients or customers:

Schedule time to socialize. Social events are a great place to network professionally. Mix things up and hang with a new crowd of like-minded people. Doing so might be just the thing to clear you for takeoff into something new and put an end to your holding pattern.

5. I can’t find another job:

In today’s competitive landscape, you need to consider jobs that you are overqualified for and underpaid to do - at least initially. In time you can leverage that experience to find a bigger and brighter one. In the meantime, take time to review your resume and see if there are things that may actually be hindering you from getting hired. Does your resume demonstrate you are an industry “outsider” because of the lingo you use? Changing a few key words and adding more industry-related experience could help you stand out from the competition.

6. I want to launch my own business or take it to the next level but don’t have the money:

Start with a strong plan and a dynamic web site that highlights your work and experience, and helps you cast a wide net to find potential clients. However, the best way to raise the needed capital is to create a side-hustle while working for someone else.

7. I have tried many things to put myself out there but nothing seems to be working:

Be creative and persistent, and you may simply have to give it time. Many holding patterns are necessary – while the next great job or opportunity is waiting to present itself. Maximize your time waiting by staying focused on what you have learned that can be applied to your next move/opportunity.

Anniversaries and milestones are often fun but can sometimes be depressing and make us feel that we are not where we want/think we should be. This week consider that you may be exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Instead of feeling stuck or in a rut, think of it as a necessary holding pattern to prevent you from taking another job or opportunity that is not right for you. Keep positive, perfect your skills and your craft, and learn from your interactions with everyone you meet. Sooner than you think, that next opportunity you’ve been waiting for will present itself.

March 8, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to … Questions that Can Actually Help You Learn from and Build Upon Professional Experiences.

We all have the ability to learn and grow from all of our life experiences. With time and practice, we can become skilled at applying what we have learned to help us better navigate both our personal and professional lives. Here are seven simple yet effective questions to help you build upon your experiences, understand which things NOT to do or pursue and discover ways to do what you love.

1. What was your worst job?

Sometimes knowing what you DON’T like is more valuable than knowing what you think you do like - because it tells you what type of people to avoid and what roles to never pursue again.

When I was 16 I worked at a small ladies boutique in Center City, Philadelphia. They paid minimum wage plus 3% commission. I was offered the job after serving as a host/model for Philadelphia magazine’s “Best of Philly” events and parties on behalf of the store.

One Saturday I came into work expecting to find my $300 commission check but instead was greeted by a 3 x 5 index card that said: “Effective immediately sales associates will no longer receive commissions.” As I read that sign, I thought I could have a confrontational argument with the owners OR take those leather pants I had been eyeing for months, lock up the store and bounce. I did the latter and never looked back. The owners showed me who they were by breaking their promise and not keeping their word and I never gave them a chance to do the same thing to me again.

2. What was your favorite job?

Focus on the specific aspects of the job that you loved i.e., did you like the fact that you worked non-traditional hours, with creative people, or attended a lot of industry events.

I loved my years working with NIKE and the Jordan Brand, especially working with so many passionate business people, athletes and celebrities. I also loved my first job at AT&T and working overseas because of the autonomy and responsibility it offered. Since holding these positions, I have continued to seek out other opportunities that offer the same chances to do and work with the things I love.

3. What is the craziest thing that you’ve heard someone say during your career?

You can learn a lot from others mistakes if you pay careful attention to what people say in a group setting and how the decision makers respond or react.

When I worked as a freelancer, I attended a production meeting hosted by the prospective client. At the end of the meeting, the client opened the floor to questions. One young publicist asked, “what would I have to do to get fired? and what things will we not be able to get away with?”

Her question to the prospective client basically asked, “what is the least amount of effort I can give and still get paid.” Work ethics, integrity, and professional abilities aren’t just words but rather guides to help you present yourself and interact with others in a positive way.

Twenty years later I still shake my head every time I see someone verbalize and seek to strive for low expectations and doing the bare minimum.

4. What was some of the best advice that you’ve received throughout your career?

We have all been given great words of wisdom in our relationships, work and even our careers. However, do you know how to take advice from one aspect of your life and apply it to another life experience?

I once asked a prospective client what type of budget he had to work with. He replied, I want to pay you what YOU think you are worth. It taught me that people who feel valued will always give you 110% when/if needed, while those who feel that they are underpaid and over-worked will never go the extra mile with or for you. And, if they do – they will most likely resent you.

5. What are some of your professional accomplishments that make you feel proud?

We tend to be most proud of things that help/benefit others, create experiences, and do what others have not been able to achieve.

Executive producing and planning special events always makes me feel proud. It’s like conducting an orchestra with many moving people and parts. I’ve done hundreds of events, however, two events that will always stand out are - the Brand Jordan NBA All Star Party in Philly and securing the NYSE opening bell ceremony for iconic soul food restaurant Sylvia’s.

6. What is a professional risk you took that changed your life?

Career success is often a high-risk, high-reward world. Risks are tiny tests of our stamina, persistence and endurance. Practice taking small career-related risks every day so you’ll be prepared when opportunity presents itself.

Living and working outside of the country was something I did not embrace immediately. In fact, I passed up an international assignment in Asia before I accepted one working in Europe, The Middle East, and Africa.
When you live in another country where you don’t know a soul – you quickly learn how to become highly resourceful and independent, not to mention comfortable with yourself and doing things alone. Embrace chances to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember, no risk – no reward.

7. Who was your worst boss?

People who fail us are often our best life teachers.

I am lucky to say that I have only had ONE bad supervisor/boss. She would take credit for my efforts, not include me in key meetings, and gossiped about me and everyone in the department like a 12-year old girl. But what really made her a horrible boss was her lack of professionalism. Sure we don’t have to like everyone, but we have to always demonstrate respect and professionalism to those we work for and also those who work for us.

This week take a few minutes a day to ask yourself one question. Examine how the answer can help you move toward doing what you love.

Seven Questions to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things that May be Holding You Back from Advancing Professionally.

Sometimes we’re doing the best we know how but career opportunities are not presenting themselves and we seem stuck in a similar or perhaps even the same place. Here are seven questions to guide you to understand and then make minor changes in how you approach, view, and do things.

1. How well do you think on your feet? You don’t have to be the person who talks simply to hear themselves speak, nor to say things simply because that’s what you think others expect. However, you need to practice and learn how to come up with AN idea or feedback when put on the spot. Being quick with your thoughts and solutions to problems will help make you appear as a credible expert and therefore a valuable asset in any industry or field.

2. Do you think happiness is a right or a choice? If you said choice, you’re correct. Experts have actually proven that feeling happy when it comes to our work life is a skill that must be cultivated. Yes, stuff happens but through meditation and mindfulness you can slowly learn how to keep things focused.

3. How do you strike and engage in a conversation? I once had a client who was extremely well educated, read and traveled. He was a nice guy often put his foot in his mouth or said really inappropriate comments in an attempt to be witty. Create “pick up” lines to engage potential influencers and professional contacts.

4. Are you a problem solver? I learned a very important lesson at my first job out of school – that if you bring a problem to your boss you must also bring a possible solution. This is one thing that separates the average janes/joes from the true professionals. Whether it’s your current coworker or boss, always have a potential way to address whatever you are expecting/asking someone else to solve.

5. How do you blow off steam and stress? Everyone needs healthy outlets to process and deal with stress. Without them - you can be your own worst enemy – and with them a great motivator. Take 30 minutes a day to walk, exercise or do a variety of things to feel more positive to rise and grind another day.

6. What do you do to be memorable? Imagine 100 people applying for the same job; statistics prove that less than 20 will stand out and/or be remembered. Find little ways to break through the clutter and differentiate yourself from competitors. Ask that great question or establish rapport by mentioning a shared friend or associate.

7. What are you willing to do without until you’re able to do the things you love? Embrace the fact that anything worth having takes effort and requires time. Which sacrifices are you willing to make? Dream big but work even bigger to do whatever is required to fulfill your dreams.

When we know better we do better. Now that you are aware of these small things you have (or have not) been doing – the more prepared you are not to let them hold you back the next time.

December 14, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Come to . . . "Betting on Yourself"

A few weeks ago I found some great career advice in the form of a poem. It spoke about how to be a “winner,” but also redefined “winning” as - doing things that most people won’t and don’t do. A loser as being someone who never tries. It’s time to start to learn from every experience you have and every person you encounter.

Here are seven things that you can do this week to create a pathway of winning and succeeding in the game called life.

1. A winner makes commitments … a loser makes promises My advice - share what you are “going to do” only after you’ve started doing it.

2. Winners are not afraid to be wrong … losers have a compulsive need to be right … Thrive on this rule in your professional life. It’s GOOD to fail - it teaches you what not to do again. Period.

3. A winner believes that we make our own luck, either through what we do or what we fail to do … Truth is, nobody controls all things or all people. You “win” in this game called LIFE by simply being in the game.

4. Winners do it NOW! … Losers procrastinate Time management is a skill that either you have or quickly need to develop. Delaying gratification sucks but you have to do it. Live in rushed chaos, ultimately, get you nowhere.

5. A winner knows that the secret to winning is to be who you are and become who you were meant to be. . . A loser thinks he can win by “fitting in” Shakespeare may have nailed this one best “to thine own self be true.” Do what you love and the rest will fall into place. Live. Love. Do!

6. Winners know that it may be difficult but it’s always possible … losers say it may be possible, but it’s too difficult. Life is difficult, and in different ways, tough for everyone. Losers never try or follow through with anything. You are and will always be a winner when you simply try. Then reach out in some way and tell yourself “good job” for trying.”

7. A winner is not afraid to lose. A loser is secretly afraid of winning. Fear of success is more real than you think. What and where do you self-sabotage? STOP IT, for at least one week. You can and will rise to the opportunity. Remember you can do more than you imagine when you’re doing what you love.

Grow and evolve professionally by knowing you won’t always win on the first or even tenth try. Eventually you’ll find your niche and be on your way to being the best you that you can be. This week pick one of the above seven goals and refocus your mind on the things that anyone can do – JUST TRY!

September 21, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Making Professional Friends.

When we are young we have many opportunities to meet and make friends. Going to school, joining a sports team or simply hanging out at the playground – offers us chances to connect with new people. Yet the older we get the harder it seems to make new friends. Whatever age you may be, we all need work friends to support us and help us navigate our careers. In fact, the older we get the more we need to surround ourselves with a strong support network. Here are seven ways to cultivate those relationships and reasons why we need them.

1. A Work BFF: Your best friend shares your interests and is that one person you can confide in no matter what. However, if your “bestie” works in a different field or industry they may not always be the ideal person to turn to when it comes to navigating your career. Take time to cultivate a close relationship with a peer at your workplace. It’s not just a good idea but a necessary asset to succeed at work. Having a work BFF offers a trusted confidant who understands exactly what challenges you may face, as well as someone who can help you best address and overcome them.

2. An Industry Insider: No matter what industry you work in, it’s really important to befriend someone at a different company who knows a lot of people in your field. Industry insiders offer a unique perspective and can be invaluable when it comes to finding and exploring new professional opportunities.

3. The Worker-Bee: Everyone needs people in “high” places to help them succeed, but we also need work friendships with people inside our organization who help us get things done. Pick up a coffee for the receptionist, treat the group admin to lunch, write a personal thank you note to the intern, or buy a $5 Starbucks for the “guys” in the mail room. Continue to cultivate these friendships over time. Years ago I worked with an admin who is now a senior vice president and executive producer at a major TV network! These friends will not only help ensure your package makes the last Fed-Ex pick up, but can also be unexpectedly invaluable sources of information. Often people treat the worker-bees as “invisible” and unknowingly spill the “tea” (i.e. company gossip) in front of them. The bottom line is you should treat everyone you encounter with respect, especially people who are often ignored and forgotten.

4. The Dear Abby: Years ago people wrote to a woman named Ann Landers who had a syndicated newspaper column called Dear Abby when they needed advice on how to deal with a certain problems and situations. Today, you need a professional friend who you can turn to for advice and ideas on how to deal with difficult people, places and things. Find a person who you admire and respect who you can turn to when you face work challenges.

5. A Kindred Spirit: Take advantage of the company office party or a committee project to meet colleagues who work in other departments or divisions. Follow up with people who you “click” with by sending a “nice to meet you email” or ask them out for lunch or coffee. Whether you share a similar sense of humor or style, create a professional friendship with like-minded co-workers in other areas of the company, especially those areas you might want to work in one day.

6. The Common Interest: Where you live, how you dress or where you went to college has nothing to do with who you are personally or professionally but using this information may be a great way to make new friends at work. If you notice a co-worker in the elevator holding a tote bag from your college alma mater or that you recognize from the neighborhood, reach out and introduce yourself. Shared interests can be a great foundation for professional friendships.

7. The Gatekeeper: Every office has a senior leader but every workplace has a gatekeeper who provides access to this top boss. Make an effort to “play nice” with the gatekeeper as he or she has the boss’ ear and the ability to make your life at work a smooth or rough process.

In life, we can all get by with a little help from our friends. The same is true when it comes to our careers. This week think about ways to enhance and expand your work and professional friendships. Remember, people are much more likely to recommend friends for promotions and new opportunities at other organizations - than people they don’t know.

Seven Simple Steps When It Comes to Setting Realistic Goals.

The things we think and say to ourselves have the greatest power to extend (or limit) our individual goals and expectations. When it comes to goal setting, what matters is positive thinking and that a goal is attainable and realistic from your perspective. Here are some great guidelines to help ensure that your professional goals are strategic and supported by realistic tactics that will help you achieve success.

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1. Assess how each goal fits into your overall career/life plan: Before setting a goal, you should first be clear about your overall professional plan. Simply knowing that you want to work for yourself in two years can be huge in helping you determine if an idea is “goal worthy.” Spend time and effort on goals that are stepping-stones to the place you ultimately want to be.

2. Change your thoughts: The most difficult part of my job as a career counselor is helping others to change how they think -and what they believe- about themselves. I often meet clients when they have just been or are about to be laid off; or when they are so depressed about their current situation that it actually prevents and limits their future possibilities. One of the first things I ask of new clients is to identify three habits that they need to “break” in order to erase negative energy and create more positive thinking. For some people it’s not sharing their plans for change (at least right away) with pessimistic, naysayer friends and family members. For others, it’s making a conscious choice to avoid making “rushed” decisions out of desperation and fear.

3. Be practical about how long change may take: You have to be realistic about not only what you want to do, but also about how long it will take for you to do it. This includes small things like the time it actually takes to write a new cover letter and update your resume, to the response time of potential employers who will review them. Remember, it probably took you years to get to this “place” that you don’t want to be anymore; and therefore it will most likely take several weeks if not months to get you out of it.

4. Maximize your marketable skills: One of the biggest mistakes people make in career transition is refusing to do the easiest and most practical thing that enables them to pays the bills and save money for their new career path or venture. You may say, “I hate (fill-in-the-blank) and I don’t want to ever do it again.” However, if you have spent the last five years helping your family launch three new restaurants – managing every detail from the scouting the locations to hiring staff to planning promotional efforts- then that’s what you should keep doing while you flush out your plan to pursue your dream job. It really doesn’t matter that restaurant consulting is not what you went to school for or what you want to do long-term. Use the most marketable experience you have (as an employee or consultant) for next six months to a year, to get both the money and flexibility to create a smoother transition into what you really want to do.

5. Have a darn good back up plan: Change is never smooth and it often involves two steps forward and one step back. For every goal you create, you should also develop a back-up plan simultaneously. Having your “Plan B” already in place will keep you on track and one step ahead when, not if, things don’t go as planned. Be specific. For example, know exactly what you need to start doing four weeks before unemployment runs out and you haven’t found another job; or have the specific dates of when companies will start accepting seasonal or holiday staff applications in order to fill the hole in left in your pocket by your part-time job.

6. Don’t let history repeat itself: We all are creatures of habit and tend to approach and do things the same way, even when trying to create change. In order to prevent making the same mistakes, take time to identify and examine the big things in your personal or professional life that did not go as planned. Don’t think of it as a failure, rather some huge life lessons you’d prefer not to repeat again. Then develop a 7-point plan that addresses what you could have done differently and ways to prevent you from doing the same or similar things.

7. Find an accountability partner: Setting a major goal is one thing, meeting every milestone that will lead you to accomplish that goal is another. Develop a detailed list of the key milestones for every goal, including target deadlines for each milestone. Give a copy to a friend and ask that they call or email you a week before each deadline to request a written status update. Sometimes simply knowing that you have to report another person gives you the extra motivation to push a little bit harder and get things done.

This week, examine three things that you “say” to yourself and make those thoughts more positive. Once armed with an enhanced level of positive thinking, try one of these seven suggestions to create a new professional goal that you can successfully accomplish.