April 19, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to – Where is Your Confidence?

Confidence is like a sense of humor, everyone thinks that they have it but less than 20% of people actually do. In fact, confidence is an essential ingredient for success in life and career.

The only way to know for sure if you have confidence is to test it. So here are seven questions to help you determine where your confidence really lies, as well as simple but crucial things you can do to boost your belief in yourself and what you can accomplish.

1. What professional accomplishment are you most proud of? 

Your ability to simply have an answer to this question is key to measuring your true confidence. If your accomplishment happened more than 5 years ago, you may be badly in need of a shot of confidence. Confident people can site accomplishments from last week, last month or last year. Stretch yourself to identify recent successes. They are critical to help you reinforce your potential of having other successes in the future.

2. What is the first thing that you can do to create positive change in your life and career?  

Did you say, “change myself or the way that I think?” If not, you should have. Confidence is intertwined with self-awareness and living in the present, not with arrogance and blaming of others. If you’re stuck on what you didn’t get as a child or all the things other people have done to you/your life and not on yourself – not only is your confidence lacking - your approach to advancing in life is all wrong. Today embrace this – focusing on what you don’t have or cannot do interferes with what you can. 

 
3. Do you think you can do anything you set your mind to?  

Whether you are right or wrong – simply thinking that you have the talent and skills to achieve your goals is 80% of doing so. Chances are you will not accomplish everything exactly as you imaged it but taking 10 minutes a day to visualize yourself achieving a goal will increase the potential for success. Learn how to “see” every goal having a positive outcome. It WILL help you believe it is possible.  


4. What is the last big risk you took and how did it work out?  

If your immediate reaction to this question is thinking whatever you tried was a huge failure, you need to embrace a new definition of failure and what it really means. Success in one endeavor often happens after “failure” in another. Failure is a necessary part of trying anything new. Just because something did not work out exactly as you planned – means just that – it didn’t work as planned. It does not mean that it or you are a failure. Things not working out teaches you how to make adjustments but is not a reflection of your talents, abilities and potential. Your ability to see opportunity regardless of outcome is critical to success. Boost this part of your confidence by practicing how to not take “no” personally.  

 
5. What is the biggest thing standing between you and your desired goals?  

Hopefully your answer is “time” or “money.” However, if your response was “waiting for the right opportunity to come along” - think again. Confident people create (not wait) for opportunities. If your confidence is at a 10 - you know that the only thing standing in between your dreams and goals – is you! Remind yourself daily that you are the only one who can connect yourself with the right people and situations to make your dreams a reality..  


6. What do you say to yourself to stay inspired and motivated?  

You should be able to site at least five things that have nothing to do with other people. Confident people are usually motivated by prior success and possibility. They also feel that they deserve (and therefore expect) greatness. Ask yourself this – if you can only motivate others but cannot do the same for yourself is that just a way of sidestepping the reality that you are lacking some much needed personal confidence?   

 
7. What is your biggest regret?  


 Idealy you live life believing that everything happens for a reason. Mistakes, setbacks and failed projects/relationships are not things to regret but rather things to learn from and make you a better person. Life is about taking chances and putting it all on the line – that way you know you have done all that you can do and there is nothing to regret. Embrace risks and seek to learn from every life and career experience – and remind yourself that nothing should be regretted.  



Honesty is the best policy when it comes to dealing with your strengths and weaknesses, and your confidence. This week take an honest and hard look at what you really believe you can do and achieve. It’s easy to say you have confidence but far more revealing to ask yourself these critical questions and take a hard look at the honest answers.  

April 12, 2017 Seven Things To Think About How Helping Others in Their Career Can Help You In Yours

People hire people they know and like. In fact, most people get hired because of a referral of a friend, family member or former colleague. Therefore, being nice and acknowledging others for their achievements is a great way to forge friendly work relationships. In time, these colleagues and contacts will proactively recommend you for future positions and opportunities. Here are seven ways to become the king or queen of niceness. Seven simple things that can expand your network and create a wider pool of potential opportunities.

1. Be the Change: Show people what you believe life’s important things to be – don’t just tell them. If teamwork, supporting others, and a positive work environment are a high priority then show don’t tell.

2. Encourage Everyone: Everyone loves a pat on the back and to hear that they are doing a good job. Find ways to extend your heart and hand to those who need them.

3. Honor with Humility: Admit your mistakes and say the magic words: “I was wrong.” These words leave a better impact than “I’m Sorry.” Also when you are right be humble and don’t flaunt your “wins” and “successes.”

4. Thoughtfulness: Promise to think before you speak. Even when asked, give very little advice and let others take the lead and explain their plan and how to implement it.

5. Appreciation: Find daily ways to express appreciation and gratitude for everything people do to get the job done.

6. Patience: Let others know that everyone makes mistakes and deserves time to start over and do things again. Treat others with the same level of patience you’d hope someone would give to you.

7. Tolerance: Remove assumptions and see people for who they are and not what you expect them to be. Don’t just accept others. Instead make proactive strides to embrace them and make them feel part of the team.

It’s time to bring niceness back! Think about it. You are far more likely to advance your career with kindness than by treating others poorly. This week brush up on your niceness and soon you’ll find that it is an effective professional tool to create change.

March 27, 2017 Living on Purpose Project Question of the Week: Where do nice guys and gals really finish?

We’ve been told that nice people finish last, but is that really true? Here are seven things to make sure you are attracting good business karma. Each will help you prove that being kind and nice not only makes you a good human being but also gives you a huge leg up in your career and life.

1. Express gratitude: Give credit when it is due. In fact, give credit, even when it isn’t. People need to be acknowledged and doing so will make you look good, and them feel great about themselves. Praising others for their contributions is step #1 in becoming a great supervisor and leader.

2. Make time to be kind and thoughtful: Give a compliment. It might give someone a badly needed lift. As adults, we spend most of our time there. So why use some of those minutes to boost a co-worker’s spirits. Making your co-workers feel more positive about themselves will make them feel the same way when they are not at work.

3. Be optimistic: The can do-spirit is the fuel that makes things go. Nobody wants to work with or be a Debbie or Daryl Downer! Be the team member who gives the needed pep talk, offers fresh ideas, and encourages others no matter what.

4. Ha Ha: We don’t work in a bubble, but rather with real people dealing with real life. Aging and sick parents, money problems, strained relationships and much, much more. Share a funny story with someone who is dealing with something difficult. A good laugh can be great medicine and a great way to forge a genuine bond and friendship.

5. Watch your mouth: Resolve to stop shooting from the lip. Words can hurt more than any physical weapon. And, never forget that the words you have to eat can be very hard to digest. Choose your words wisely and always show others respect, especially when you disagree.

6. Apologize when you realize you are wrong: Remember, apologies never diminish who you are – they elevate it. Show others by example that you can admit your mistakes and be better because of them.

7. Encourage a beginner to try something new and take a risk: Nothing ventured nothing gained is not just a saying but a “major key” and fact of life. Someone once encouraged you, so pay it forward by helping someone looking to break into your industry. Regardless of level, you can and should always work as a connector who helps others network and partner to achieve common goals.

Even if nice guys and gals do “finish” last it’s far better to follow the golden rule – do to others, as you would have them do to you. “Nice” is not and will never be a four-letter word. Today pick one of these ‘acts of niceness’ and be that person who makes someone else’s week!

February 22, 2017 Living on Purpose Project Founder & CEO and Career and Communications Expert, Patrice Anderson, on the entrepreneurial gene; setting personal and professional boundaries; 90s Hip Hop; and not needing to be the smartest or most talented to succeed.

Growing up in the north-west part of Philadelphia, I was encouraged to dream big. Luckily, I was also exposed to many things and participated in many experiences that soon taught me that life is a series of choices. Some work out and many don’t go exactly as planned. I’ve done many things professionally that I am really proud of … becoming one of the youngest Director in the history of NBC … launching a successful PR and events consulting business with only $3,000 of personal savings… and representing the Jordan Brand (Michael Jordan). Truth is, I am most proud of the fact that I have tried everything that I have ever wanted to do career wise. Lucky for me – most things have worked out and even those that did not go as planned – I don’t regret.

Who was the first adult (other than your parents) who encouraged you to believe in yourself and take risks to go after what you want?

My kindergarten teacher Miss Guida always used to use the word potential around me. “Patrice, you did an excellent job at XYZ, you have so much potential, and I am sure that your next XYZ will be even better.” One day I asked her what the word meant and she said that I had a lot of great abilities and could do almost anything I wanted. I credit my first teachers and my Montessori early childhood education for helping me to be independent and self-confident at such an early age.

Early on in your career, did you ever have doubts or consider pursuing another PR niche or field?

I am a problem solver and I like what I do. So, basically, I can work for any business or any Industry. What I like and do best is solving strategic problems and coming up with ways to do something NEW that has been done 101 times before.

Of course, I looked at some of my friends and former colleagues who worked in the music industry and thought that they had the cool jobs. Instead, I took the more corporate (and perhaps in my mind) safer route than many friends who chose to do A&R, marketing and management for major labels and artists. I have a lot of respect for them and everyone who was a Hip Hop pioneer who hustled hard to make sure that Hip Hop what not a temporary genre and will remain forever!

This past Monday, February 20, 2017 the new series The Breaks premiered on VH-1. I loved the movie and am digging the series because it’s basically the soundtrack for a key stage of my life and my career.

I was privileged to know, meet and work with some of the key players who played a pivotal role in how Hip Hop evolved and grew in the 90s. Whether it was going to high school with the founders and senior editors of The Source; going to Central High School party in Philly (where Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince (a.k.a Will Smith ) DJ’d; or going to college in NYC and living in the same dorm as Adam Sandler, I’ve always found myself surrounded with artists and creative types. And, it was nice to live vicariously through other people – it allowed me to meet some of the hottest 90s DJs like (Funkmaster) Flex, Kid Capri, and Frank Ski, not to mention some of the best producers, event planners and celebrity publicists. I had amazing access and experiences. I even learned how to play pool for the first time at a music studio in LA. My teachers were members of a very large entourage of a very well know artist who had a studio session that same day.

I guess at the end of the day I was well suited for the corporate world. But I guess things can and do often come full circle. A decade later I ended up doing sports & entertainment PR.

You had a successful career managing events and PR for mega brands and high net worth individuals like Nike, Jordan Brand (Michael Jordan), AT&T, NBC, Fox and others. How and why did you go into business for yourself? And, do you think anyone can be an entrepreneur or does one need to have the entrepreneurial gene?


Launching a sports and entertainment boutique firm was out of sheer necessity. I was unemployed and needed to pay the bills. I did what I have told thousands of students over the years to never, ever do – start a business without a business plan. I luckily defied the odds. My first client was Fox Entertainment and my second was Nike.

I do think that some people are certainly born with natural abilities as a salesperson or entrepreneur, however, anyone can embrace and cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset. Meaning, don’t sit down waiting for opportunities to come to you – instead stand up and create them.

I actually “pitched” my first potential client, my bus driver, Mr. Robinson when I was 9 years old. The week before a congressman’s kid has sliced open the back of his head on the aluminum siding on the school bus during some rough housing. Since it had happened shortly after pick up from school, Mr. Robinson drove the whole bus full of kids to the ER. And, he had put me “in charge" of the bus while he was gone.

Truth is, I’ve never been the oldest, smartest, most talented, biggest - but at an early age I knew how to motivate people to accomplish an end-goal. So even at nine, I was fully aware that if another accident happened again – Mr. Robinson would be out of a job. A few days later I asked him if I could promise him that I could keep everyone in their seats and that there would be no rough housing - would he pay me?

I still remember the look on his face. He agreed but with one stipulation - that I had to also sweep up the bus on Fridays. I countered by asking for a trip to Dunkin Donuts once a month that would give one donut for everyone.

I made $5 dollars a week. By age 11, I had a “real job” job that paid me by check $120 a month. And, by the time I was 13 years old I ran a very successful babysitting business that earned up to a couple of hundred in a single weekend!

What are three professional strengths that have helped you and can help others succeed?


First, I am a professional problem solver. It’s the one thing I’ve done well in every single job I have ever had. I learned that helping people understand, address, and eliminate their problems is not something that everyone can do.

Second, I am extremely persistent and am not easily intimidated by difficult people or situations – in fact, I often see them as a challenge. For example, as a child I would help my mother when she had a yard sale. One sale, when I was 7 years old, a man tried to cheat me out of money by making it seem that I had counted wrong. I didn’t back down and proceeded to add everything up by hand on a paper bag AND even got a calculator to double check my math. I have no idea why a grown man would try to cheat a child out of $3.75. But I am glad it happened because it gave me the confidence to call people out on things and stand up for myself.

Lastly, I think extremely well on my feet and am a highly creative person who always has AN idea and can quickly come up with a possible solution to ANY problem, situation or need.

What is something that someone told you NOT to do that you actually ended up doing and served you well?

Growing up, people have often told me that I talk too much. I still talk a lot and don’t think it’s a coincidence that I have made a great living in communications.

Throughout my life, many people have also told me that I watch too much TV. I have always loved television, the shows, the scripts, the commercials, the whole nine yards. I literally grew up watching Sesame Street and have been watching TV ever since.

It’s funny but perhaps one of the most redeeming qualities of “reality” TV is that people can learn “how to” do almost anything by watching others. I am a visual and kinetic learner and therefore I learn by seeing and doing. Watching tons of TV has helped me immensely in my career in doing things like writing ads, especially commercials, creating PR campaigns, better understanding Pop culture and much more.

What do you accredit your professional success to?

I always have an idea and a plan (even if it’s mental). I try to make sure that plan is at least two steps ahead of where I am trying to go. That way I’m poised to pounce on an opportunity as soon as it presents itself. As I say to my students, in marketing (and in life) you don’t always have to be best, sometimes it’s merely about who is first. First to see the need, first to focus on an untapped target audience or first to come to market.

Everyone needs a plan to make their dreams come true – it’s called marketing. However, there are many people who, if they won a thousand dollars for life would not know what to do with the money. I don’t have that problem (laughter).

Although I am the type of person to do first and then tell others after I’ve done it, I have several plans that I could easily put into action at any moment. In addition to always creating and tweaking my plan, I talk, think and work very fast. That plus my strong organizational and time management skills often allow me execute the same project/job faster, better and more creatively than someone else.

What is one piece of unconventional wisdom that you learned from someone else?

In my first job out of college, I was charged with scheduling a Wall Street Journal interview with a senior level IBM client. I made a huge mistake and gave the reporter the wrong location (in the pre-cell phone world). As we sat there waiting for the reporter who never showed, my supervisor stayed cool under pressure and gracefully handled the situation and the very frustrated client. Thinking quickly on my feet, I ran back to the office and was able to save the media opportunity (and possibly my job) by rescheduling a phone interview for first thing the next day.

My supervisor never yelled or chewed me out for the mistake because it was “spilt milk” and I had found a way to clean it up. She knew I learned my lesson and would never make the same mistake. That day she taught me that if you are the person “in charge” always remain professional and cool, calm and collected. And, to never forget the devil is in the details!

About Patrice Anderson: Patrice Anderson is passionate about helping people discover and do what they love. A professor, PR and marketing consultant, and career transition expert, Anderson has spent the past 20 years helping individuals, as well as some of the country’s largest organizations including Fox Entertainment, Nike/The Jordan Brand, AT&T, NBC, Alcatel-Lucent, The United States Marine Corps and Burger King, create their vision, shape their brand, and execute their goals.

In 2015, Anderson founded The Living on Purpose Project ® blog and online community to help people navigate career choices and changes in order to live with more passion and purpose. She oversees a wide range of initiatives that provide practical career, employment and business advice, as well as courses and resources to help others achieve personal, professional and organizational goals.

Anderson serves as a motivational speaker and lecturer at New York University, Hunter College, and professional organizations, as well as a broadcast media consultant. She is a graduate of New York University’s Stern School of Business and holds degrees from NYU in marketing and liberal arts. Currently, Anderson is working on her first book, The Living on Purpose Project ®.

Follow Patrice and the Living on Purpose Project on Twitter @pathtopurpose; on Instagram at #pathtopurpose; on Facebook at Living on Purpose Project; and on the web at .

February 15, 2017 Ask Patrice about . . . what should I do when it looks like my supervisor or company are planning to fire me?

Unfortunately, we have all had jobs that were great but we’ve also had several that sucked. If the writing on the wall says there is a strong chance that you and/or your position are on the chopping block, here are seven things to protect you and create leverage in your departure.

1. Connect with human resources, labor relations, and your employee “handbook.” Learn your rights (i.e., does the government agency allow all permanent employees to have up to a year before they can be let go). It’s always good to know starting every job if you can be fired “at will.” All companies are different but most can simply let you go whenever they want to. Understand your review process and if you have had previous positive evaluations of your performance; present a good argument as to why you believe it has changed.

2. Understand the politics: It could be as simple as your VP wants to hire her former colleague and friend to have your job – because that’s her friend. If it’s a personality issue, chances are it will never be resolved in your favor (especially if the conflict is with senior staffers). So dust off your “C.Y.A.” (Cover Your Ass) file that you should have started the moment you got hired. Every “great job” email and “thanks for the help” Post It, (and a copy) of anything positive that internal and external clients have said about you. It’s not too late; ask a current client and others to write a letter about your most recent successful project or general letter of reference. After you have the positive feedback, create a one page summary of your major accomplishments.

3. Document everything: In addition to your CYA file, you need to keep a DAILY log of all communications and connections with others. Did your SVP cancel your review meeting for the 5th time? Are you excluded from meetings? Anything and everything needs to be recorded.

4. Understand the other issues: Unfortunately even in 2017 people are still discriminated against because of their race, age, sexual orientation, gender, religion and much more. If you have solid evidence that this is much more than someone simply not “liking you.” Consult with an employment lawyer to help you better understand your legal options, but most likely to help negotiate your exit with the most money in your pocket. For example, let’s say you’ve worked at a job for the past two years and it’s simply not working out with your new SVP. An employment attorney may be able to guide you to help request and negotiate that the company will pay one week for every year and to NOT contest unemployment.

5. Strategize with professional mentors and contacts that might have knowledge and expertise of both the process and the key players: Truth is you may not want to or be able to pay a retainer and hire an attorney, but you can tap into the “intellectual property” of others. Cast a wide net and ask others for advice and even perhaps how they navigated the same or a similar situation.

6. Circle back with HR: Present all positive evaluations, feedback and input. Communicate your desire to explore potential ways that you can part ways from your employer. Unemployment benefits, extended healthcare or company paid benefits, outplacement services (i.e., help with resume and recruiters).

7. Walk Away: If you have tried all that you could with or without the advice of legal counsel, and you’ve gotten the best severance package you can get, take it and move on. At some point your happiness and freedom to find a new job that you love is worth so much more. As you leave, work on developing the story you will tell to other professional contacts and potential employers.

It sucks to be fired even from a job that you hate. Even if you only have a couple of years of experience, you still may be able to get more than a “thank you and good luck to you.” Brush up on your negotiation and networking skills and assemble a dream team to help assist you with a graceful “positive” exit.

Seven Questions to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things that May be Holding You Back from Advancing Professionally.

Sometimes we’re doing the best we know how but career opportunities are not presenting themselves and we seem stuck in a similar or perhaps even the same place. Here are seven questions to guide you to understand and then make minor changes in how you approach, view, and do things.

1. How well do you think on your feet? You don’t have to be the person who talks simply to hear themselves speak, nor to say things simply because that’s what you think others expect. However, you need to practice and learn how to come up with AN idea or feedback when put on the spot. Being quick with your thoughts and solutions to problems will help make you appear as a credible expert and therefore a valuable asset in any industry or field.

2. Do you think happiness is a right or a choice? If you said choice, you’re correct. Experts have actually proven that feeling happy when it comes to our work life is a skill that must be cultivated. Yes, stuff happens but through meditation and mindfulness you can slowly learn how to keep things focused.

3. How do you strike and engage in a conversation? I once had a client who was extremely well educated, read and traveled. He was a nice guy often put his foot in his mouth or said really inappropriate comments in an attempt to be witty. Create “pick up” lines to engage potential influencers and professional contacts.

4. Are you a problem solver? I learned a very important lesson at my first job out of school – that if you bring a problem to your boss you must also bring a possible solution. This is one thing that separates the average janes/joes from the true professionals. Whether it’s your current coworker or boss, always have a potential way to address whatever you are expecting/asking someone else to solve.

5. How do you blow off steam and stress? Everyone needs healthy outlets to process and deal with stress. Without them - you can be your own worst enemy – and with them a great motivator. Take 30 minutes a day to walk, exercise or do a variety of things to feel more positive to rise and grind another day.

6. What do you do to be memorable? Imagine 100 people applying for the same job; statistics prove that less than 20 will stand out and/or be remembered. Find little ways to break through the clutter and differentiate yourself from competitors. Ask that great question or establish rapport by mentioning a shared friend or associate.

7. What are you willing to do without until you’re able to do the things you love? Embrace the fact that anything worth having takes effort and requires time. Which sacrifices are you willing to make? Dream big but work even bigger to do whatever is required to fulfill your dreams.

When we know better we do better. Now that you are aware of these small things you have (or have not) been doing – the more prepared you are not to let them hold you back the next time.

January 18, 2017 ASK PATRICE . . . When It Comes to Negotiating a Higher Salary, Even with Less Than 5-7 Years of Experience.

Each month we are going to feature a question from a Living on Purpose Project (LOPP) fan or follower and provide “straight no chaser” career advice from our CEO and Founder, Patrice Anderson. If you have a career-related question you’d like to ask, please comment on social media or directly email us atlivingonpurposeproject@gmail.com

“I have almost five years of experience, and less than two in my desired field. I have been offered a position at a mid-size company doing what I like but the salary is the same as my current position at a larger firm. How can I negotiate a higher salary?”

Negotiating is something I am lucky to have learned, literally from some of the best in the business. Here are secrets to asking for a higher salary and other forms of compensation. Following them will take your negotiation skills from shaky to successful in no time:

1. Wear your poker face: Letting others know what you’re thinking is the kiss of death when it comes to any negotiation. So don’t do it. Play it cool, and act as if you have MANY options and have done this before. Even if this is your first job offer in 2 years or you don’t have a clue about negotiation – act as if.

2. Six degrees of separation: Gather as much intelligence on the key players as you can. Who are the decision makers? How long have they been with the organization?
Know their successes and weaknesses, as well as who they have worked and gone to school with. Effective name dropping is effective. Create and start to cultivate a connection through shared associates and experiences. Your ultimate goal is to motivate them to believing that you are the candidate they MUST have.

3. Charm to disarm: My grandmother always told me – “you catch more bees with honey than you do with _ _ _ _.” Be pleasant and honest. People will know when you are overdoing it – so start with basic niceties like their appearance or a good point they made. Then move up to say and show the appropriate amount of deference and your respect. You can kill any deal simply by rude behavior and poor business etiquette

4. Demonstrate and prove others are being paid more: Talk in a non-threatening way about how the position you are considering is extremely similar or exact to another in the company/field/industry. A position that is paid at a higher salary. Something like “the positon you describe sounds more like (INSERT ONE LEVEL HIGHER) and detail all that you are being expected to do. Pay note to supervising even an intern. If it’s an assistant positon say it sounds like a “coordinator.” If they call it a manager say it sounds like a senior manager or director.

Your goal is to point to other people doing the same job for more money. If you need to build a better case – highlight that you know the previous person to hold that position had fewer responsibilities. And, to seal the deal offer to take on another project, area or department to clearly demonstrate the significant increase in job responsibilities – and to give them leeway to adjust the salary.

5. Highlight your negatives: After explaining your sincere interest and aptitude to do the job at hand – mention the “down side” for you. Will your commute time/expense double? Are you leaving a more well-known or prestigious brand or company? Share as they say, the “facts.”

Then remind them of what impressed them about you in the interview or prior meeting and share three (3) strong industry and/or career accomplishments. Reinforce this “negative” message with your desire to be a part of their team.

6. Ask rhetorical questions: People are more likely to be flexible and concede when they don’t feel confronted. Making your comments (and even reservations) into rhetorical questions is a great way to prevent things from going “left” (at best) or contentious (at worst).

Saying something like, “I really want the positon but I wish that there was some way I could not have the added expense of commuting?” or “The position is great but it really sounds much like an Account Executive, not a Coordinator, which I know has a much higher salary?

7. Be direct about the extras: Depending on the company, you should ask about signing bonus, performance based stock options, assistance with relocation or moving costs, and increased transportation. These pay outs may not come in lump sum, one-time payment but – money is money.

Everything in life is negotiable and everything in life requires some form of negotiation. Stop limiting your career options by lacking knowledge and experience in negotiating with people at all levels.

This week start by practicing some of these tips, reading more about the topic, and enlisting a friend to role-play the part of your future employer.

DJ Khaled - All I Do Is Win Feat. Ludacris, Rick Ross, Snoop Dogg & T-Pain from DAYO HAREWOOD on Vimeo.

December 14, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Come to . . . "Betting on Yourself"

A few weeks ago I found some great career advice in the form of a poem. It spoke about how to be a “winner,” but also redefined “winning” as - doing things that most people won’t and don’t do. A loser as being someone who never tries. It’s time to start to learn from every experience you have and every person you encounter.

Here are seven things that you can do this week to create a pathway of winning and succeeding in the game called life.

1. A winner makes commitments … a loser makes promises My advice - share what you are “going to do” only after you’ve started doing it.

2. Winners are not afraid to be wrong … losers have a compulsive need to be right … Thrive on this rule in your professional life. It’s GOOD to fail - it teaches you what not to do again. Period.

3. A winner believes that we make our own luck, either through what we do or what we fail to do … Truth is, nobody controls all things or all people. You “win” in this game called LIFE by simply being in the game.

4. Winners do it NOW! … Losers procrastinate Time management is a skill that either you have or quickly need to develop. Delaying gratification sucks but you have to do it. Live in rushed chaos, ultimately, get you nowhere.

5. A winner knows that the secret to winning is to be who you are and become who you were meant to be. . . A loser thinks he can win by “fitting in” Shakespeare may have nailed this one best “to thine own self be true.” Do what you love and the rest will fall into place. Live. Love. Do!

6. Winners know that it may be difficult but it’s always possible … losers say it may be possible, but it’s too difficult. Life is difficult, and in different ways, tough for everyone. Losers never try or follow through with anything. You are and will always be a winner when you simply try. Then reach out in some way and tell yourself “good job” for trying.”

7. A winner is not afraid to lose. A loser is secretly afraid of winning. Fear of success is more real than you think. What and where do you self-sabotage? STOP IT, for at least one week. You can and will rise to the opportunity. Remember you can do more than you imagine when you’re doing what you love.

Grow and evolve professionally by knowing you won’t always win on the first or even tenth try. Eventually you’ll find your niche and be on your way to being the best you that you can be. This week pick one of the above seven goals and refocus your mind on the things that anyone can do – JUST TRY!

November 23, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . The Biggest Work-Related Money Mistakes People Make

As we enter the season of spending, socializing with family and friends, and giving thanks and gifts, we often feel a huge drain on our bank accounts. However, personal finances are not the only ways that people develop money problems. This week we are looking at seven of the biggest money problems people face in their professional lives. Avoiding these common pitfalls can actually free extra cash for you to use this holiday season

1. Failing to negotiate your starting salary or a salary increase when you accept a new position or promotion: The best time to talk about increasing your salary is before you start a new job. However, many people fail to optimize this opportunity to get the extra money they deserve. Even if you’ve been unemployed for a while or are desperate to get any kind of work there are a few things that you should do before you accept the new position. 1. Brush up on your negotiating skills to secure an extra few thousand dollars. 2. Justify the increase by explaining the expenses associated with moving to a new city or increased transportation costs. 3. Explain that the longer hours/travel associated with your new gig will require you to quit your part-time job and/or give up a consulting job. 4. Prepare a great argument by doing your research, including checking out the Living on Purpose Project archives for our August 6, 2016 post on how to ask for a raise or promotion!

2. Not understanding that the only way you will ever be paid what you deserve/are worth is by working for yourself: Stop giving 110% and expecting to be paid what you’re worth. Truth is, people who have great wealth and bank accounts usually work for themselves. You might not be ready, willing or able to launch your own business, however, start exploring ways that you can also work as a paid consultant/freelancer to even out your salary deficit.

3. Trying to keeping up with the Kardashians: Don’t feel pressured to have to keep up with colleagues. Dress, hang out, and eat lunch, where you can afford to do so. Even in your professional life, find ways to live within your means such as buying a suit or dress from a high-end consignment store, bringing lunch at least three times week, and doing what you can to pay down your student loans.

4. Giving the milk away for free: Although this saying often applies to something else, it also relates to your work life. If you’re a consultant who has been asked to develop a proposal – only give a high level overview. When I first started working as a consultant, I developed a 10-page proposal that virtually gave the prospective client both the strategy and the detailed tactics to execute the project.) When I followed up a week later, I was told that, “I’m going to go in another direction and would no longer need my services.” Instantly I realized that I had given away the milk for free, and that he had never planned on hiring me. If someone asks for a comprehensive proposal or plan, charge them for it.

5. Not putting everything in writing: Whether you are working for or with a family member, or involved in a six figure venture or pro-bono project, outline your working arrangement in writing. I have seen many people of all ages and stages of their career not sign contracts or agreements, “because they were family or a close friend and I trusted them.” You can trust people but what you should trust even more is a contract or piece of paper that spells out how and when you’ll be compensated. Download a general contract from the Internet and make sure that you include major contingencies such as the client canceling the job or project. For example, I once worked on an event that the client canceled seven weeks into the project. Luckily, I had a clause in my contract that stated the client still had to pay me a certain amount per hour for all of the time I worked up until that point.

6. Lacking a clear focus about money, success, and youth: Defining success by how much money you make is a slippery slope to unhappiness. Sure you should work towards goals, but you need to first remind yourself that youth fades and there will always be someone who has/makes more money than you. Build your financial goals on talent and things that truly matter and have personal meaning. Letting a dollar figure represent your happiness or success is a sure way to fail.

7. Not knowing when to “fold ‘em:” Statistics show that regardless of industry, a majority of new businesses don’t make a profit in the first five years, and almost half go out of business in less than three years. Since almost every small business owner invests personal savings into their business, you may lose more than just your business when your venture fails. If your business is clearly sinking with no way of saving it, don’t let your pride cloud your business judgement. Filing a business bankruptcy can sometimes prevent vendors, subcontractors, and creditors from seizing your current assets.

Money doesn’t make you happy but it sure gives you better choices, and not having money can make you miserable. Be aware of how you approach and manage money not just in your personal life but when it comes to your professional affairs. This week take a look at how you can prevent making these and similar career-related money mistakes.

November 9, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things That Suck but That We Can’t Change (At the Moment)

Sometimes despite our best efforts things simply don’t work out, or happen or move as fast as we’d like. We all have to deal with difficult career-related things of which we have no control. Here are some suggestions to deal with some common challenges.

1. Getting passed over for a promotion: It doesn’t matter whether you’re a CEO or an entry-level worker, having to continue working for the same company after being turned down for a promotion doesn’t make anyone feel good. It sucks! However, don’t let this situation define you. If you believe you were qualified for the position, use this opportunity to “read the writing on the wall” and see why the decision makers may not be in your corner. Let this be the much needed motivation to dust off your resume and get moving on finding another job.

2. Needing to forego your dreams to deal with a personal or family situation: We all have responsibilities to other people. At times we need to put our dreams on hold to help those closest to us. If you are in a holding pattern, remind yourself that all dreams deferred don’t “dry up like a raisin in the sun” and die. Some can actually gain momentum and even gain greater intensity after time has passed. Use your waiting time to refocus on your own dreams and your career goals. Sometimes no, isn’t no forever, just “no” for right now.

3. You’re in over your head at work: Many times you may need to “act as if” in order to get a job or be considered for an opportunity. However, once you’ve gotten it, you may soon find that you aren’t able to do key aspects of the job or handle the pressure of the environment. Ask someone, preferably outside the organization, for help. I have helped many people navigate the first few months of a new job by ‘ghost-writing” key reports and presentations on their behalf. If you can’t find people or resources to provide you the needed support, consider creating a Plan B or, if needed, to bow out gracefully. Ideally, you should be the first to say that things aren’t working perfectly and to propose a “back up” plan. Identify someone (internally or externally) to assist you with the project or your job overall. Keep in mind that doing this runs the risk of losing your job. However, it’s far better to admit that you are unable to do something (well in advance of a deadline) or a few weeks or months in, than to drag out the inevitable and possibly destroy a professional bridge and your reputation in the process.

4. You can’t get out of a work rut: You try to pursue different positions at your current job or even work on new projects, but you simply can’t get out of your career rut. Find a way to break away and recharge your batteries. Visit a friend or family member in another city, take a “mental health day” off from work or, simply do little and low cost things to change your routine like get a Mani/Pedi or buy/download a new book. The best way to break a rut is to change the way you think, which in turn will affect your actions and the reactions they create.

5. Dealing with being unemployed: Do your best to keep yourself busy and your thoughts positive. As long as you are doing something every single day to change your employment status, be patient and creative with your time – things will happen. You might not be able to control when the job offers come but you certainly can take hold of how you creatively manage your time. Create a blog sharing your ups and downs of unemployment or showcasing your interest or hobby. Remember, in order to have something that you’ve never had, you often have to do things that you’ve never done.

6. They are planning to outsource or phase out your position: If you are currently working in an industry or department that you know in time will soon be downsized or eliminated entirely, start creating a plan for the future today. You may not be able to stop the axe from chopping your job but you should and can start exploring new opportunities for when, and not if, that occurs. I know many people who work in journalism and publishing who have successfully evolved and grown along with the industry – enabling them to not only stay employed but remain in demand.

7. You are still waiting for the temporary (or part-time) job that you were told would become permanent: Many opportunities start as short-term or temporary assignments but in time can become full-time jobs. If you are currently in this situation, and even if the date that you should have gotten your permanent title has long passed, keep giving 110%. You don’t want to lose steam and have someone make the decision to not to hire you when you lost your passion because things were taking longer than you would have liked.

Just because things have not happened, doesn’t mean they never will. The key is to have and exhibit the 3 Ps – patience, persistence and perseverance. Life and career are not always perfect and at times we all have phases or positions that are really tough – so hold on. This week remind yourself that you might not be able to change things today, but you can change your perspective and put things in place to be prepared when change happens.

October 26, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Ways Mind/Body Balance Can Help You Succeed (And Why It's Not B.S!)

You’re young and healthy and would never believe that stress can be slowing you down and blocking you from the job of your dreams. Mind/Body Balance isn’t hippie, new age stuff, but a proven method to help you make a successful professional transition and sustain an effective long-term life and career. It’s not too late to join our #LOPP30daychallenge, try some of these suggestions today.

1. You’re not sick you’re thirsty: Water for Health, for Healing for Life: You’re Not Sick You’re Thirsty by F. Batmanghelidj, MD is an interesting book with a basic premise – that water is the free “miracle” solution to the many things that ail you. Your body is comprised of about 65 percent water, which is needed for a number of physiological processes and biochemical reactions, including: blood circulation; metabolism; regulation of body temperature; waste removal and detoxification. Once your body has lost between one to two percent of its total water content, it will signal its needs by making you feel thirsty. However, by the time your thirst mechanism actually kicks in, you’re already in the early stages of dehydration, so you don’t want to ignore the initial sensations of thirst. In addition, hunger and sugar cravings, in particular, can also be a sign that your body is crying for water, so when you feel hungry, drink a glass of water first.

Doctors and nutritionists suggest that adults drink eight, 8-ounce glasses a day, but recent studies show the ideal amount varies from person to person. Water is also a natural preventative medicine and could also be an effective defense to address depression, headaches, obesity, and numerous other conditions and diseases that are related to persistent dehydration. If you don’t like the “taste” of water – get over it. Flavor your water with not just lemon and lime, but add mint, strawberries or even cucumber slices to your pitcher or water bottle. Regardless of how much water you currently drink, challenge yourself to drink two more glasses a day this week until you build up a healthy habit of eight to ten glasses every day.

2. Creating a daily practice: Practice, routines, and patterns are not only the way we learn how to do things, they are proven and speedy gateways to a successful life. Scheduling things at a certain time every day provides structure and discipline that indirectly creates effective time management. Starting the day by reading an inspirational message or taking 5 minutes of silence can not only offer a great motivation to kick start things it can also begin a pattern of accomplishment and ultimately success. Browse through a book of motivational quotes and/or stories or download one of many “quote of the day” apps. Let the daily topics guide you to find new energy and zest for life each and every day. Sure, things will happen and some days you’ll face challenges. Putting positivity in motion to not only counter negativity but also attract more positive energy and people throughout the day.

3. Create and embrace a personal and work mantra: No matter your industry or the stage of your career everyone needs a mantra to guide and remind you to stay positive in the face of adversity. Mantras are single words, phrases, or rhetorical questions that offer personal meaning and inspiration during tough life and career times. “Believe,” “don’t sweat the small stuff,” or “it has to be someone, why not me?” are more than just words when used the right way. Develop your own or borrow a favorite mantra from some of our Living on Purpose Project interviewees like, “fake it till you make it,” or “it’s all good.” My personal mental work/career go-to mantra is “if you’re not doing something every day to get what you want, how bad do you really want it?” This is not just about saying “warm and fuzzy” words to make you feel good at the moment but rather a proven long-term technique for creating positive change and accomplishments. If you don’t believe me, ask the countless famous athletes, business people, and entrepreneurs who use it every day! Find or develop three possible work mantras to try out this week when your boss or co-worker tries your patience or when you need a little boost to hang in there until change happens.

4. Practice power breathing to relieve stress and anxiety: Anxiety affects 40 million adults in the United States 18 and over, or 18 % of the population – according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. In addition, it’s not uncommon for people who experience anxiety to also experience depression or vice versa. The truth is, almost everyone experiences one or the other at some point in life – often triggered by stressful life events like losing a loved one or job, or dealing with chronic money problems. However, if you feel anxious and nervous much of the time, seek advice from an expert and try to adopt daily activities, such as taking deep breaths, power breathing, and yoga. Everyone gets even a little nervous before an interview or at a networking event, today read this Forbes article about these simple things that can have surprising results

5. Take a deep stretch and try yoga: Yoga is perhaps one of the best mind/body exercises to achieve mental and career balance. It stretches both your muscles and your mind simultaneously. Stretching is essential to circulation but is also a great way to jumpstart your day. Ever notice how dogs stretch every single time they get up. It’s an instinct and “trick” that many animals do that humans should learn. Take a class or simply try some exercises like the sun salutation (which you can find on YouTube) at home. Perhaps in time you’ll join people like Russell Simmons who credit it as a key to success in career and life. Today check out this article where Russell explains what yoga is all about and schedule a time to do a least one yoga class or routine (at home) before the end of the month

6. Introduce your mind to meditation: The first time I tried meditating more than 20 years ago, I hated it. It was nearly impossible for me to clear my mind, to literally think about “nothing.” I tried guided meditation, read books, took classes and even studied transcendental meditation for a while – yet I felt like a meditation “failure” and soon “dropped out.” A few years later, one day out of the blue I tried it again. However this time, I simply took away the “label” of calling it meditation and had a “breakthrough.”

When I stopped focusing on trying to “meditate” and started simply trying to quiet my mind for 5 minutes at a time I could do it. Soon I was able to add a second, and then third, 5-minute session and eventually could do 30 minutes a day. Take time to clear your negative and “busy” thoughts and replace them with deep breaths and positive ideas.

You don’t have to become a Zen master to tap into the power of meditation and release it’s calming, and stress relieving benefits. This week take 5 minutes to lie flat on the floor without any light or sound, and simply close your eyes and breathe. As random thoughts come into your mind, like a negative comment someone recently said, little questions such as what you’re going to have for dinner, or major issues like how you’re going to pay rent - acknowledge the thought then “push” it away. When a thought comes, simply take a breath, re-focus and try again. It doesn’t matter if these thoughts happen two or twenty times in 5 minutes; remember it is about progress and not perfection.

7. Visualize success: Many successful people talk about how they envisioned their success before they achieved it. I recently saw an interview of Taylor Swift a year after her first album became a mega hit. Someone asked her if fame and success was as she “imagined it” would be and she replied “yes, even better.” Who knows if she would say the same thing today? The point is that perhaps part of the reason why she (and others) achieved success is because she actually took time to “see” it happen. Positive visualization has been taught by everyone from religious leaders to coaches, and has been an incredible tool for millions of people throughout the world. Take time to “day dream” about the way your life will be when, not if, change happens. The next time you believe you won’t be able to do something, simply take 7 minutes to first visualize that it has already happened. Then say to yourself (over and over) that it WILL happen. Start with simple, less emotional things like making your bus or train. Instead of saying, “oh shoot I’m going to miss the train,” create a quick visual in your mind of arriving to the station in the nick of time and taking a seat as the train or bus leaves. Then as you hustle and travel to get there, keep repeating to yourself “I WILL make the train, I WILL make the train, I WILL make the train.” And, 80 % of the time you WILL make it!

Some argue that success is more about mental focus, your “head game” and perseverance, and less about talent and opportunity. Your mind/body skills are just as important as other abilities and skills related to succeeding in your industry or career. Think about this. If you go on an interview feeling anxious or depressed, or thinking or visualizing “I’m unqualified and won’t get the job” – I guarantee you won’t get the job! But with a positive attitude you have a real chance. Today, ask yourself if even you would hire yourself based on the way you think and your mental approach to things right now? If the answer is no, try some of these ideas and activities to change that answer and become the person that anyone would hire in a heartbeat.

October 1, 2016 The Living on Purpose Career Readiness Challenge . . . 30 Days of Activities, 4 Surprising Posts, 1 Great Sidebar Post on Creating (and not waiting) for Opportunities and 1 Compelling Conversation.

It’s October 1, summer’s over and it’s back to your daily grind. You have exactly 93 days to either start off 2017 with a new job that you love or head into the New Year doing the same old thing. What will you choose? We hope that you are ready, willing and able to make a change and will join us on October 5 when we’ll launch the first Living On Purpose Project 30-Day Career Readiness Challenge. Whether you are looking to change industries, move up in your current career/position; or are planning to switch things up in the near future - this monthly event will help you break the cycle and take concrete steps towards your dream job.

Each week will focus on non-traditional ways to advance your level of career readiness, as well as daily activities that you can do (most in 7 minutes or less) to help practice and master a core key skill. Here’s a sneak peek of what we have planned:

October 5: Seven Surprising Ways to Get LinkedIn to Work for You
Two people join LinkedIn every second. Here are seven surprising ways that people are using LinkedIn as an interactive tool to find job leads, get the attention of recruiters and hiring managers and effectively promote themselves professionally.

October 12: Compelling Conversation with Rachel Piatczyc
Who says that you have to pick just one job or career that you love? This month we’re talking to Rachel Piatczyc who shares her secrets to creating a multi-faceted career. We’re also offering a sidebar post on October 16 about three ways to create and not wait for opportunities.

October 19: Seven Things You Never Imagined Could Help Get You Hired in a Hurry
Tired of sending your resume out with no response? Are you finding that all the traditional ways to find a new job are not working? We’re spilling the tea on seven surprising things that can help you land a job quickly.

October 26: Seven Ways Mind/Body Balance Can Help You Succeed (And Why It’s Not B.S!)
You’re young and healthy and might never believe that stress can be slowing you down and blocking you from the job of your dreams. Mind/Body Balance isn’t hippie, new age stuff, but a proven method to help you make a successful professional transition and sustain an effective long-term life and career.

September 7, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Questions to Ask Yourself to Help You Discover your Purpose.

We all have a purpose. Yet only less than 20% of us discover it and live it. Now that Summer has ended and you’re getting back to your grind and routine, here are seven simple questions that might offer the “aha!” moment you’ve been looking for to find or create your next career move.

1. What types of relationships drive you? A good place to start when thinking about what you were born to do begins not at looking at yourself, but at who or what you like working with. Are you someone who is motivated by groups or do you like working alone? Are you energized by working with kids or animals or a place where you don’t have to interact with anyone at all? Clarity regarding who you like working with and where you thrive can help you uncover your purpose.

2. When do you feel in your element and get that feeling that this is what I was born to do? There some things that come to us so naturally it’s like second nature. For natural leaders, no one ever had to tell them how to motivate and lead people they just knew. What have you always done naturally? Are you most comfortable when you cheer others on or are when you are given a problem to fix?

3. Where does your satisfaction and success intersect? There are things we like doing and then there are areas where we excel. For most people our “purpose” relates to where these two arenas meet. You may love doing something, but it may be something that you don’t do well. Do what you love and find ways to practice and increase your level of skill. Sometimes that extra focus and practice makes all the difference. For example, Michael Jordan was cut from the Junior Varsity basketball team, but practice and dedication helped him became one the best players of all time. However, there are things that, despite our dedication, are simply not something thing that we excel at doing. If that’s the case, we then should explore other pursuits. Remember that even Michael Jordan never became a phenom at baseball.

4. What motivates you to get out of bed? Some people are driven by the chance to help others while other individuals are motivated by solving problems? Are you drawn to learning new things or are you inspired by developing expertise in one area? Know what motivates you, and why?

5. What are your talents that you are willing to invest in? Where do you spend your time and money? Chances are the things you choose to invest your financial and other resources doing is something that you are really passionate about.

6. What’s your reoccurring topic of conversation? We all are passionate about certain causes and ideas, what are yours? I am deeply dedicated to empowering others to explore and live their passions and purpose. I also strongly believe in all people, especially women, becoming financially educated and independent.

And, I believe that all children need to be encouraged and supported to become the people who they were born to be. No matter where I am and who I meet, my conversations (even with strangers) tend to focus on one of these topics.

7. What do you do when you don’t know what to do? When you feel stuck, in a rut, or confused about which path to take, what is your “go to” move? I often turn to yoga, prayer and meditation, find ways to connect with nature, and talk to friends and family about my current feelings. Knowing the positive people and things that you turn to for answers can be a huge step in starting the process of change.

Making a career change begins with asking yourself big questions. This week, pick just one of these seven questions to help you gain clarity about not just what you love, but why you love it. Questions can empower you to create a new way of thinking, which in turn can help change what you do and perhaps even reveal that “thing” that you were born to do.