March 8, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to … Questions that Can Actually Help You Learn from and Build Upon Professional Experiences.

We all have the ability to learn and grow from all of our life experiences. With time and practice, we can become skilled at applying what we have learned to help us better navigate both our personal and professional lives. Here are seven simple yet effective questions to help you build upon your experiences, understand which things NOT to do or pursue and discover ways to do what you love.

1. What was your worst job?

Sometimes knowing what you DON’T like is more valuable than knowing what you think you do like - because it tells you what type of people to avoid and what roles to never pursue again.

When I was 16 I worked at a small ladies boutique in Center City, Philadelphia. They paid minimum wage plus 3% commission. I was offered the job after serving as a host/model for Philadelphia magazine’s “Best of Philly” events and parties on behalf of the store.

One Saturday I came into work expecting to find my $300 commission check but instead was greeted by a 3 x 5 index card that said: “Effective immediately sales associates will no longer receive commissions.” As I read that sign, I thought I could have a confrontational argument with the owners OR take those leather pants I had been eyeing for months, lock up the store and bounce. I did the latter and never looked back. The owners showed me who they were by breaking their promise and not keeping their word and I never gave them a chance to do the same thing to me again.

2. What was your favorite job?

Focus on the specific aspects of the job that you loved i.e., did you like the fact that you worked non-traditional hours, with creative people, or attended a lot of industry events.

I loved my years working with NIKE and the Jordan Brand, especially working with so many passionate business people, athletes and celebrities. I also loved my first job at AT&T and working overseas because of the autonomy and responsibility it offered. Since holding these positions, I have continued to seek out other opportunities that offer the same chances to do and work with the things I love.

3. What is the craziest thing that you’ve heard someone say during your career?

You can learn a lot from others mistakes if you pay careful attention to what people say in a group setting and how the decision makers respond or react.

When I worked as a freelancer, I attended a production meeting hosted by the prospective client. At the end of the meeting, the client opened the floor to questions. One young publicist asked, “what would I have to do to get fired? and what things will we not be able to get away with?”

Her question to the prospective client basically asked, “what is the least amount of effort I can give and still get paid.” Work ethics, integrity, and professional abilities aren’t just words but rather guides to help you present yourself and interact with others in a positive way.

Twenty years later I still shake my head every time I see someone verbalize and seek to strive for low expectations and doing the bare minimum.

4. What was some of the best advice that you’ve received throughout your career?

We have all been given great words of wisdom in our relationships, work and even our careers. However, do you know how to take advice from one aspect of your life and apply it to another life experience?

I once asked a prospective client what type of budget he had to work with. He replied, I want to pay you what YOU think you are worth. It taught me that people who feel valued will always give you 110% when/if needed, while those who feel that they are underpaid and over-worked will never go the extra mile with or for you. And, if they do – they will most likely resent you.

5. What are some of your professional accomplishments that make you feel proud?

We tend to be most proud of things that help/benefit others, create experiences, and do what others have not been able to achieve.

Executive producing and planning special events always makes me feel proud. It’s like conducting an orchestra with many moving people and parts. I’ve done hundreds of events, however, two events that will always stand out are - the Brand Jordan NBA All Star Party in Philly and securing the NYSE opening bell ceremony for iconic soul food restaurant Sylvia’s.

6. What is a professional risk you took that changed your life?

Career success is often a high-risk, high-reward world. Risks are tiny tests of our stamina, persistence and endurance. Practice taking small career-related risks every day so you’ll be prepared when opportunity presents itself.

Living and working outside of the country was something I did not embrace immediately. In fact, I passed up an international assignment in Asia before I accepted one working in Europe, The Middle East, and Africa.
When you live in another country where you don’t know a soul – you quickly learn how to become highly resourceful and independent, not to mention comfortable with yourself and doing things alone. Embrace chances to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember, no risk – no reward.

7. Who was your worst boss?

People who fail us are often our best life teachers.

I am lucky to say that I have only had ONE bad supervisor/boss. She would take credit for my efforts, not include me in key meetings, and gossiped about me and everyone in the department like a 12-year old girl. But what really made her a horrible boss was her lack of professionalism. Sure we don’t have to like everyone, but we have to always demonstrate respect and professionalism to those we work for and also those who work for us.

This week take a few minutes a day to ask yourself one question. Examine how the answer can help you move toward doing what you love.

February 15, 2017 Ask Patrice about . . . what should I do when it looks like my supervisor or company are planning to fire me?

Unfortunately, we have all had jobs that were great but we’ve also had several that sucked. If the writing on the wall says there is a strong chance that you and/or your position are on the chopping block, here are seven things to protect you and create leverage in your departure.

1. Connect with human resources, labor relations, and your employee “handbook.” Learn your rights (i.e., does the government agency allow all permanent employees to have up to a year before they can be let go). It’s always good to know starting every job if you can be fired “at will.” All companies are different but most can simply let you go whenever they want to. Understand your review process and if you have had previous positive evaluations of your performance; present a good argument as to why you believe it has changed.

2. Understand the politics: It could be as simple as your VP wants to hire her former colleague and friend to have your job – because that’s her friend. If it’s a personality issue, chances are it will never be resolved in your favor (especially if the conflict is with senior staffers). So dust off your “C.Y.A.” (Cover Your Ass) file that you should have started the moment you got hired. Every “great job” email and “thanks for the help” Post It, (and a copy) of anything positive that internal and external clients have said about you. It’s not too late; ask a current client and others to write a letter about your most recent successful project or general letter of reference. After you have the positive feedback, create a one page summary of your major accomplishments.

3. Document everything: In addition to your CYA file, you need to keep a DAILY log of all communications and connections with others. Did your SVP cancel your review meeting for the 5th time? Are you excluded from meetings? Anything and everything needs to be recorded.

4. Understand the other issues: Unfortunately even in 2017 people are still discriminated against because of their race, age, sexual orientation, gender, religion and much more. If you have solid evidence that this is much more than someone simply not “liking you.” Consult with an employment lawyer to help you better understand your legal options, but most likely to help negotiate your exit with the most money in your pocket. For example, let’s say you’ve worked at a job for the past two years and it’s simply not working out with your new SVP. An employment attorney may be able to guide you to help request and negotiate that the company will pay one week for every year and to NOT contest unemployment.

5. Strategize with professional mentors and contacts that might have knowledge and expertise of both the process and the key players: Truth is you may not want to or be able to pay a retainer and hire an attorney, but you can tap into the “intellectual property” of others. Cast a wide net and ask others for advice and even perhaps how they navigated the same or a similar situation.

6. Circle back with HR: Present all positive evaluations, feedback and input. Communicate your desire to explore potential ways that you can part ways from your employer. Unemployment benefits, extended healthcare or company paid benefits, outplacement services (i.e., help with resume and recruiters).

7. Walk Away: If you have tried all that you could with or without the advice of legal counsel, and you’ve gotten the best severance package you can get, take it and move on. At some point your happiness and freedom to find a new job that you love is worth so much more. As you leave, work on developing the story you will tell to other professional contacts and potential employers.

It sucks to be fired even from a job that you hate. Even if you only have a couple of years of experience, you still may be able to get more than a “thank you and good luck to you.” Brush up on your negotiation and networking skills and assemble a dream team to help assist you with a graceful “positive” exit.

Seven Questions to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things that May be Holding You Back from Advancing Professionally.

Sometimes we’re doing the best we know how but career opportunities are not presenting themselves and we seem stuck in a similar or perhaps even the same place. Here are seven questions to guide you to understand and then make minor changes in how you approach, view, and do things.

1. How well do you think on your feet? You don’t have to be the person who talks simply to hear themselves speak, nor to say things simply because that’s what you think others expect. However, you need to practice and learn how to come up with AN idea or feedback when put on the spot. Being quick with your thoughts and solutions to problems will help make you appear as a credible expert and therefore a valuable asset in any industry or field.

2. Do you think happiness is a right or a choice? If you said choice, you’re correct. Experts have actually proven that feeling happy when it comes to our work life is a skill that must be cultivated. Yes, stuff happens but through meditation and mindfulness you can slowly learn how to keep things focused.

3. How do you strike and engage in a conversation? I once had a client who was extremely well educated, read and traveled. He was a nice guy often put his foot in his mouth or said really inappropriate comments in an attempt to be witty. Create “pick up” lines to engage potential influencers and professional contacts.

4. Are you a problem solver? I learned a very important lesson at my first job out of school – that if you bring a problem to your boss you must also bring a possible solution. This is one thing that separates the average janes/joes from the true professionals. Whether it’s your current coworker or boss, always have a potential way to address whatever you are expecting/asking someone else to solve.

5. How do you blow off steam and stress? Everyone needs healthy outlets to process and deal with stress. Without them - you can be your own worst enemy – and with them a great motivator. Take 30 minutes a day to walk, exercise or do a variety of things to feel more positive to rise and grind another day.

6. What do you do to be memorable? Imagine 100 people applying for the same job; statistics prove that less than 20 will stand out and/or be remembered. Find little ways to break through the clutter and differentiate yourself from competitors. Ask that great question or establish rapport by mentioning a shared friend or associate.

7. What are you willing to do without until you’re able to do the things you love? Embrace the fact that anything worth having takes effort and requires time. Which sacrifices are you willing to make? Dream big but work even bigger to do whatever is required to fulfill your dreams.

When we know better we do better. Now that you are aware of these small things you have (or have not) been doing – the more prepared you are not to let them hold you back the next time.

January 4, 2017 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Having a New Year Where You Keep an Open Mind and Try Not to Say "No”

Mega producer, screen writer, and author Shonda Rhimes wrote a book called the Year of Yes, where she shares the beautifully interesting experiences that she had as a result of agreeing to do things that she had normally said “no” to.

Truth is, it is not practical or possible to say that you will say “yes” to every opportunity.

However, you can make a focused effort not to say “no” to as many things in life.

Here are seven areas where you can embrace an open mind in 2017 and be receptive to considering and doing more experiences that you would not have normally done.

Accept help: Often the very thing we need to take us to the next career level is help and assistance from others. The next time someone offers to look at your resume or help you in some professional way - don’t make excuses like your resume isn’t updated - just accept the help!

Helping others in your own way: I find that when others ask me for help, I sometimes say “no” because they are asking for something that requires more time than I have to give. You may not be able to drive your friend to Ikea and help move furniture from Harlem to Brooklyn. So offer to do what you can do.

Do one thing that scares you (a little): Sometimes the best way to get over something is to face your fear directly. Build a strong verbal and written argument for why you deserve a raise or confront that co-worker who seems to have had a problem with you since you started. Whatever the situation, addressing it head on will not be nearly as bad as you envision in your mind.

Embrace a new take on hanging out after work: Connecting with people outside of the office can be more than drinking at a local bar. Next time a co-worker asks you to join them for an activity after work – go for it. Stop by at a work friend’s open mic night, stand-up comedy set or event. Doing so can open up a whole new social scene and (potential professional contacts) by connecting you with new and interesting people.

Take the initiative and create your own work project: Create just one way that you can take on a job or activity that simply needs to be done.

Take that trial class: Whatever you are into - yoga, painting or martial arts - stop putting it off and just take the one FREE class. Who knows? You might hate it; but more than likely you’ll love and enjoy the fact that you tried doing something that you’ve never done before.

Help a friend with a worthy cause: We all know someone who works with a positive and charitable cause. Take seven minutes to see if you can volunteer, make a donation, or spread the word to others who can support their worthwhile efforts.

Embrace 2017 as the year that you will be more open, willing, and able to try new things. Sure you won’t be able to say “yes” to everything, but this month and throughout the year take time to thoroughly consider every opportunity and experience before you say “no.” See if there is a way to do something before you simply write it off.

December 21, 2016 Things To Think About When It Comes To . . . Looking for and Finding Inspiration And Opportunities in The Oddest Places

Yesterday I turned on the TV at 5:30 a.m. hoping to find something inspirational to kick start my day that would officially start in about an hour. I stumbled upon an interesting piece on Gloria Steinem on OWN and it brought back a great memory of when I met Gloria Steinem because of a hand-written card.

While working for NBC, I met Carole Black when she was the President and General Manager of the NBC owned station in Los Angeles NBC4. Soon after, I heard that she took a job in NYC as the new President and CEO of Lifetime Television. I sent her a short “congratulations way to go” note and got a call back from her assistant about a week later. The assistant passed along Carole’s thanks and a special invite for me to be Carole’s “plus 1” at an upcoming 65th birthday party for Gloria Steinem at Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas’ house! I guess CEO’s don’t get a lot of “congrats on your new gig and huge executive parachute plan” cards.

I will always remember so many things about that great night, such as the 39 other incredible guests and meeting and talking with a living legend. But what still amazes me is that this all happened because of a simple note.

Here are seven things that this unusual string of events in my life and a personal card and thank you note actually taught me about having a successful career.

1. At any moment, you can do something small to put a big opportunity into motion down the road.

2. Career success comes from cultivating professional and personal relationships. People want to work with people they know and like.

3. There are rich people, there are the wealthy people and there are people who are rich because how they have created, navigated and shared their life experiences. Everyone, including you, can be one, two, or hopefully all three.

4. Never underestimate the value of business and social etiquette (if you don’t know it – learn it quickly.) Always remember please and thank you are words that have tremendous power.

5. Celebrities and accomplished professionals in many ways are not like everyday people. However, every human being needs to hear that others are proud of who they are, as well as what they do.

6. Seize every moment to network and learn from people, especially those who you may never see again. I met many people and business associates that day who have impacted my career.

7. Always bring your host a gift or small token of your appreciation. I brought Gloria Steinem a book of poetry, and even bravely gave her an original work of my own. I also sent Carole Black one darn nice thank you note for inviting me and proving such as great networking opportunity.

Find inspiration to tackle a new venture by first simply reflecting on something you’ve previously done that worked out better than you imagined, then take your first step toward doing this new thing. This week take a moment to reflect on these lessons learned and consider who you could send a “personal note” that might directly or indirectly help you experience something great?

November 9, 2016 Seven Things to Think About When It Comes to . . . Things That Suck but That We Can’t Change (At the Moment)

Sometimes despite our best efforts things simply don’t work out, or happen or move as fast as we’d like. We all have to deal with difficult career-related things of which we have no control. Here are some suggestions to deal with some common challenges.

1. Getting passed over for a promotion: It doesn’t matter whether you’re a CEO or an entry-level worker, having to continue working for the same company after being turned down for a promotion doesn’t make anyone feel good. It sucks! However, don’t let this situation define you. If you believe you were qualified for the position, use this opportunity to “read the writing on the wall” and see why the decision makers may not be in your corner. Let this be the much needed motivation to dust off your resume and get moving on finding another job.

2. Needing to forego your dreams to deal with a personal or family situation: We all have responsibilities to other people. At times we need to put our dreams on hold to help those closest to us. If you are in a holding pattern, remind yourself that all dreams deferred don’t “dry up like a raisin in the sun” and die. Some can actually gain momentum and even gain greater intensity after time has passed. Use your waiting time to refocus on your own dreams and your career goals. Sometimes no, isn’t no forever, just “no” for right now.

3. You’re in over your head at work: Many times you may need to “act as if” in order to get a job or be considered for an opportunity. However, once you’ve gotten it, you may soon find that you aren’t able to do key aspects of the job or handle the pressure of the environment. Ask someone, preferably outside the organization, for help. I have helped many people navigate the first few months of a new job by ‘ghost-writing” key reports and presentations on their behalf. If you can’t find people or resources to provide you the needed support, consider creating a Plan B or, if needed, to bow out gracefully. Ideally, you should be the first to say that things aren’t working perfectly and to propose a “back up” plan. Identify someone (internally or externally) to assist you with the project or your job overall. Keep in mind that doing this runs the risk of losing your job. However, it’s far better to admit that you are unable to do something (well in advance of a deadline) or a few weeks or months in, than to drag out the inevitable and possibly destroy a professional bridge and your reputation in the process.

4. You can’t get out of a work rut: You try to pursue different positions at your current job or even work on new projects, but you simply can’t get out of your career rut. Find a way to break away and recharge your batteries. Visit a friend or family member in another city, take a “mental health day” off from work or, simply do little and low cost things to change your routine like get a Mani/Pedi or buy/download a new book. The best way to break a rut is to change the way you think, which in turn will affect your actions and the reactions they create.

5. Dealing with being unemployed: Do your best to keep yourself busy and your thoughts positive. As long as you are doing something every single day to change your employment status, be patient and creative with your time – things will happen. You might not be able to control when the job offers come but you certainly can take hold of how you creatively manage your time. Create a blog sharing your ups and downs of unemployment or showcasing your interest or hobby. Remember, in order to have something that you’ve never had, you often have to do things that you’ve never done.

6. They are planning to outsource or phase out your position: If you are currently working in an industry or department that you know in time will soon be downsized or eliminated entirely, start creating a plan for the future today. You may not be able to stop the axe from chopping your job but you should and can start exploring new opportunities for when, and not if, that occurs. I know many people who work in journalism and publishing who have successfully evolved and grown along with the industry – enabling them to not only stay employed but remain in demand.

7. You are still waiting for the temporary (or part-time) job that you were told would become permanent: Many opportunities start as short-term or temporary assignments but in time can become full-time jobs. If you are currently in this situation, and even if the date that you should have gotten your permanent title has long passed, keep giving 110%. You don’t want to lose steam and have someone make the decision to not to hire you when you lost your passion because things were taking longer than you would have liked.

Just because things have not happened, doesn’t mean they never will. The key is to have and exhibit the 3 Ps – patience, persistence and perseverance. Life and career are not always perfect and at times we all have phases or positions that are really tough – so hold on. This week remind yourself that you might not be able to change things today, but you can change your perspective and put things in place to be prepared when change happens.