We all have our particular and comfortable way we approach breaking the ice in an awkward conversation, telling others about ourselves on a first date, or even how we start dancing. However do you have effective “go-to” moves for career-related situations? Here are seven “go-to” ways that you should have in your professional toolbox to help you maximize real work life scenarios that almost everyone encounters.
1. Introducing yourself to strangers at work meeting: Find a way to strike a balance between taking over the conversation and being the person in the room that everyone wonders, “who the heck is that?” Do something that will help people remember you. For example, if everyone is going around the table introducing themselves beginning with “Hi I’m Stacey and I work in human resources …” - mix things up and begin your intro with “greetings …” Also, don’t wait for your boss or co-worker to introduce you. Take the initiative and share one fun fact about you, such as that you sit in the cubicle next to the bathroom, work on a particular company-wide project or with someone who almost everyone in attendance is sure to know.
2. Standing out from the crowd at a networking event: Do your homework about the keynote speaker or panel members before the event. Be memorable by doing something that most people won’t do like honestly sharing how you feel, such as “these events make you nervous because you don’t know what to say.” Perhaps introduce yourself by revealing something or someone who you have in common like attending the same school, working for the same previous employer or simply loving the same genre of music. A final word of advice when it comes to shared people, places and things – choose wisely. Years ago when I met the Mayor of a major city, I introduced myself by saying that I knew their ex-spouse. Needless to say the response was not warm and fuzzy. In hindsight it was clear to see that ex-spouse is an ex-spouse for good reason.
3. Making your proposal memorable: Whether you are submitting a structured response for a Request For a Proposal (RFP) or sending an email to a potential pro bono client, find a unique way to share who you are and what you can do. You can accomplish this by finding a way to weave in a hobby or interest into your core skills or services. For example, create a metaphor comparing what you do to a particular genre of music. Find a way to let others see a glimpse of your personal side and what makes you tick will enable you to better connect with others.
4. Initiating a “cold call” regarding a positon or work opportunity: Sometimes we get a lead or someone recommends an opportunity. Often we have to be proactive and pick up the phone or send an email to a complete stranger. Try to use a proven advertising and media strategy, by posing an interrogative headline. Ask a rhetorical question that you know almost anyone and that specific person would answer “yes” to.
Do you remember being 25 years old and having your eye set on your ideal dream job? or “If you could choose between having a persistent person who thinks well on their feet or someone who has a background in __________ but no work experience, you would you pick? Make sure the question you pose is something that resonates with that person and allows you to positon and present yourself as the “answer.”
5. Giving an apology: There are times in your professional lives when you need to clear up a misunderstanding or simply say you’re sorry. When this happens take a “less is more” approach. Find a neutral place, preferably out of the office to apologize and find a way to move on. You don’t rehash everything that happened or what was said. Focus on the three A’s: Acknowledge that what happened or was you said was wrong; Apologize for your role in what occurred; and Acquiesce, meaning make some effort to right the wrong and try to ensure it won’t happen again. A great go-to phrase to end the conversation is “I hope you take this in the spirit of what I meant and not as an attack.”
6. Telling people what they don’t want to hear: This is tough for many people, but you sometimes have to give others feedback that they won’t like. Take a constructive criticism approach and begin with something positive and then focus on one way that that person could try a different approach next time. Give a brief example of what they could do next time and change the topic to neutral or even fun subjects.
7. Breaking the ice: Take note of social cues and observe when someone’s body language may have been affected by someone’s words or actions. Be a professional peacemaker and say something to lighten the mood and bring everyone back to the objective of what you are trying to do.
It’s said that success happens when preparation meets opportunity. Practice these and develop some of your own go-to career moves that will enable you to be prepared and “shine” when one of these or other situations occur.
Tony Rocco
Career Confidence :“Will the real (fill in the blank) please stand up?”
Some days I feel like a fraud. Don’t you? The shoes I’m supposed to fill are too big even for me. I’m doing my best to be and act like the given or chosen “title” I’m wearing at the moment – parent/child – CEO or currently unemployed – self-employed/working for “the man” – whatever it may be. It doesn’t matter. At times, I’m hanging on by a thread getting everything done, and I simply feel like I don’t measure up.
Starting this blog is an amazing lesson that is continually unfolding. There have been many days when many things have gone wrong or someone has “passed” on the opportunity to participate. Of course, I’ve asked myself many times, what the heck do I know about writing a blog and book about anything, let alone living life doing what you love and exploring meaning and purpose? I’ve gone there, and then some.
But at the end of the day, I’m doing this for me. I am confident in myself and my vision, and desire to make a difference in the world (let alone in my life) – in this particular way. That’s it!
I’ve been asked many times, and in many different ways, where does my or anyone’s confidence come from? Truth is, I don’t know. But I do know all things being equal – ability, opportunity and support (in my opinion the three pillars to successfully doing what you love) – the one thing that makes the difference in who swims and who sinks, is confidence.
Confidence is not to be mistaken with arrogance. Arrogant people are insecure and overcompensate, not to mention project how they feel about themselves unto others. Sure, some arrogant and even narcissistic people are very successful.
What I am proposing here is that confident people simply know and are excited about the great things that make you, you. What are the skills (no matter how random) or the talents and abilities you bring to whatever you do in some unique way that creates value?
And, if you don’t know what these things are, you’d better figure them out, and soon – because life and career requires not only knowing it, but also the confidence “to make things happen.”
I know many talented, bright, energetic people who don’t know their professional or personal self-worth. They lack confidence. They are looking to others to give them some 10-point roadmap on how to have a successful career in (fill in the blank). It’s a map that simply doesn’t exist.
Here’s a question for you. If you don’t know what makes you special (i.e., what is your point of differentiation), then how in the heck (not to mention why) is the person you want to work for or with supposed to figure that out for you?
And here’s another. If you can’t point to at least one thing you’re good (and interested in), then how can someone else believe great things about who you are and what you can do for them? That’s where it all comes down to: a mental game that’s rooted in your self-confidence.
We all need to restore and, at times, simply find confidence in ourselves. Sometimes we fake it to make it, and at other times we hold onto the tiny bit we have and just run. Like all skills – confidence comes easier for some but takes practice for us all to really get it right. And as some food for thought, here are my top three “how-to” ideas.
1. Listen to people who genuinely compliment you, and take it in. I can recite many things my nursery school teacher Ms. Guida said to and about me that made me believe to this day that I can do almost anything I set my mind to, including, “Patrice may be the only two year old I’ve met who could be dropped in the middle of the woods and somehow figure a way out.”
2. Think of the times you thought you would never get through XYZ but somehow did anyway.
This (especially for you analytical types) means you actually have a greater statistical probability of being successful in the future, because you previously succeeded. So what the heck, try it – the odds are in your favor.
3. Find one thing you are really good at it and bring that “thing” to others.
This third and perhaps most important/difficult point is first realizing that your “thing” can be the smallest thing. It could be that you make one darn good cookie or pretzel. Perhaps you’re magnificent at managing egos and music careers. Or like me, maybe you’re simply good at talking (especially on your feet) and have a way of getting others to listen in a way that connects you to them, and them to others.
We all know the stories of the Beyoncé, Benjamin Franklin (my favorite person from history) and Beethoven. For us mere mortals, don’t expect big abilities and talents because they must likely won’t appear in that form. Instead, our “it” will be a series of many “little” things about us or just things that we do very well. I love Josh Quittner’s line: “The things we are good at, are the things we tend to do.” In themselves our “things” are not huge, but some have huge “potential value” for others. You may think one thing, what’s the big deal, how is that one thing going to change anything? Well here’s a newsflash … one thing can change everything.
Let’s say you find something you’re confident you do really well. I can’t promise that it will lead you to a life and career full of purpose and passion. But I can guarantee you that if do just one thing really, really well – people will ask what else you can do well, too. It’s basic economics and supply and demand. Build great demand for one thing (i.e. your business “cash cow” that supports the largest segment of market share/profit) and then it will be very easy to convince people you can deliver when they need something else that you might “be just perfect for.”
Start today by exploring and ultimately being clear about one thing you do well and can bring to any table with confidence. But do the whole process with confidence as well. Next we’ll figure out ways to find or create opportunities, not to mention that actual “table(s)” for you to bring your confidence to.
I confidently know some days I don’t know what the heck I am doing and figure it out as I go. But instead of fearing what I don’t know, I claim this fact with as much confidence and exclamation as I can muster.
Confidence is that turn on the path that leads many of us to the very thing we’re supposed to do or enables us to do the current jobs or careers that aren’t going anywhere with greater sense of purpose.
When you really think about it, it’s not that hard because at its core confidence is simply knowing who you are and who you’re not – and being ok with both. All it means is doing something you’re really good at that makes you feel proud and happy with a sense of accomplishment. Be confident in being yourself because it’s the one thing at which you can never fail.